Senior Living February 8^th, 2023

I’ve found that Valentine’s Day just isn’t as thrilling as it was when I was in grade school trying to decipher the meaning of the Valentine’s card from the cute girl in the second row. Does she really like me? And what do I do if she does?!

Well, you may feel the same way.

But even if you have lost your spouse, as many of you have, Valentine’s Day can be a time to remember the days of courtship and love at first sight; thumbing through pictures of your life together and the joy you both shared.

Or if you are married, and your relationship has become familiar and routine, Valentine’s Day can be a time to reconsider the romance in your relationship which many of us never think about.

How do you keep the romance alive on Valentine’s Day and every day? Terri Orbuch, Ph.D. has a few suggestions.

1. Communicate expectations. Don’t worry about what your partner is expecting or that you’ll disappoint. Be direct. You are both much more likely to be happy if you know what your partner likes and wants.
2. Make it genuine and personal. A simple handwritten note expressing your love instead of the usual Hallmark card. And to make it special slip it under the pillow.
3. Make it “touching.” Saying “I love you” is nice, but how about making out on the couch? (Wow that brings back memories!) Or something more age-appropriate: cuddling up to watch a movie — or a walk holding hands.
4. Give the gift of time. Consider spending quality time with your loved one. Something that’s not the same old same old.
5. Talk it up. Maybe the most romantic thing is to have a 10-minute (or longer) conversation about anything besides money, kids, or politics.  It has been found that a “10 Minute Rule” practiced daily, increases intimacy and happiness within couples.

But having a healthy conversation with your spouse or with anyone is not easy. If you find it difficult, consider some of these tips from Working Caregiver.

1. Breathe. Start with a deep breath to relax and give yourself time to pull your thoughts together. If you can find those thoughts!
2. Ask questions. Find out what is really going on. Don’t take anything for granted. You know what happens when you assume.
3. Really listen. Hear and understand their experiences and opinions and listen for any fears driving their responses that they may not even realize. And don’t argue.
4. Slow down and speak distinctly and clearly. Take your time and think before you respond. Silence can be golden.
5. Laugh. When appropriate, humor can help ease tense situations.

Often, we take our loved ones for granted and romance is a distant memory. But celebrating Valentine’s Day every day and truly communicating can strengthen the love and romance in anyone’s relationship.

Brain Tease: When I first heard this one, I couldn’t figure it out. And the second time I couldn’t remember the answer from the first time. See if you can do better. “There are six eggs in the basket. Six people each take one of the eggs. How can it be that one egg is left in the basket?”

The name of the library classification system is the Dewey Decimal System. I received correct answers from Nancy Higgins, who I missed last week, Dave Lutgens, Lana Tepfer, Rhonda Spies, Linda Frizzell, Jess Birge, Chuck Rice, Mike McFarlane, Emmett Sampson, Donna Mollet, Deborah Medina, and this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket, Marny Weting.

I was discussing Shingles with a friend, and he recalled getting a disease where his mother made him stay in a dark room for days. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was this highly contagious childhood illness, over 500,000 cases annually during the 1950s, which at the time was commonly thought that light could increase the chances of losing your vision? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or send it with your memory of this childhood disease.

 “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”. George Bernard Shaw

Well, it’s been another week, trying to make the winning shot before the game’s final buzzer. Until we meet again, creativity is often discovering the answer inside the box.

Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through

Friday unless otherwise noted.

Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) – Mondays and Wednesdays; Hood River

Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center

(541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333)

For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services – Goldendale office

(509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068); Skamania County Senior

Services (509-427-3990).

Answer: The last person took the basket with the last egg still inside.