Do you ever feel out of date like an old 45 record in an age of digital music? One possible reason is that each new generation tries to separate themselves from older generations by creating their own language or slang words – as we did when we were young.

If you grew up in the 50s, you may remember “knuckle sandwich”, “shiner”, “made in the shade”, or “the royal shaft”. If you were a child of the 60s, how about “far out”, “dig it”, (“It’s) a gas”, “mellow”, “bummer”, and of course “groovy”.  For you younger readers who grew up in the 70s, there was “psyche”, “don’t be such a spaz”, and “up your nose with a rubber hose” popularized by Vinnie Barbarino in the TV show Welcome Back, Kotter. Over time each generation has introduced its own slang. But unless you are a real “dork”, you probably won’t be using most of those slang words – unless you want to get that look of “When were you born?”

Those expressions are innocent anachronisms from our youth. But there are also words we consider vulgar and offensive and those too change over time. For example, when my son was elected 2003 senior class president in high school, he ended his acceptance speech with “We’re going to have a “badass” year!” Well, that didn’t go over well – except with his classmates – and he was disqualified. He knew it wasn’t acceptable, but in his defense, he argued words considered unacceptable are always changing. (The same can be said about what you can wear to school. I remember when boys couldn’t wear jeans and girls had to wear skirts.)

Today we may accept the use of “badass” – or maybe not? But what is difficult to accept for many of us is the excessive use of words we find offensive. I know many friends who won’t watch certain television shows because of all the swear words – particularly the use of “bleep” which seems to be common in entertainment and music these days, Once I tried to watch who I heard was considered a popular cutting edge young comedian on Netflix, but I couldn’t get past the first five minutes. If I was in the audience, I would have been squirming in my seat. It was just too much of a bad thing. Maybe you have had similar situations.

When we were young, we weren’t so direct. We used euphemisms for words that were considered vulgar: “What the fudge”, “dagnammit”, “Jiminy cricket”, “Oh, shoot”. I remember being shocked when my 8^th-grade football coach told a lineman to keep his “butt” up.  In my family, we didn’t use that word!

What language we think is “cool” and what we think is vulgar is different for each of us and each generation. We may feel that the freedom of speech to say anything you want has gone too far and just isn’t right, but it isn’t the end of the world. Words we consider offensive today will lose their power to offend, and new words will take their place. It wasn’t that long ago when the public was shocked to hear Rhett Butler end “Gone With The Wind” with the famous line “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Brain Tease: You’re escaping a labyrinth and there are three exits. Exit A leads to an inferno. Exit B leads to an assassin. Exit C leads to a lion that hasn’t eaten in 3 years. Which exit do you pick?

Because of Memorial Day, I submitted this column early so I will mention everyone who answered last week’s question next week.

in 1972 an American comedian used in one of his monologues the “seven dirty words”. For this week’s “Remember When” question who was this comedian and social critic? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with the forecast from the “hippy-dippy weatherman”.

Well, it’s been another week, trying to focus among all the distractions. Until we meet again, if you ever get down, there is always more than one way to get back up.

“If you feel you are doing as much at seventy as you did when you were twenty, you must have not been doing much at twenty.”

Answer: Exit C. If a lion hasn’t eaten in 3 years, it has definitely starved to death.

 Senior Living May 25^th, 2022

Think back to when you were young. There was energy and enthusiasm; the future was a banquet of choices and opportunities, so many things to do and so little time to do them. And “Yet, knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” Robert Frost describes the dilemma we all face in life where one choice precludes so many others. And for various reasons: pursuing a career, raising a family, or just making ends meet, we gallop down one road not expecting to ever revisit those missed opportunities.

But in her book “Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer” Connie Goldman discusses how by rediscovering an interest or passion we had early in life, a road now overgrown and hidden from view, we can again experience the excitement and enthusiasm of our youth and be involved, creative and aware through the next chapter of our lives.

To help rediscover these forgotten interests, write down every activity in your life that has brought you great pleasure and satisfaction and what you particularly liked about them. You may also want to make a list of things you wanted to do but never had the time to do. Use these lists to help identify those pleasurable activities you may now want to pursue. Spend some time contemplating them; don’t rush. And during this exploration, be open to new possibilities. Give yourself permission to stretch and grow by trusting in yourself and your curiosity. And don’t worry about looking foolish, inept, or not acting your age. As we age there is less pressure to draw within the lines; we can create our own pictures. Then share them with a close supportive friend or loved one who knows you well and who you can trust to be honest. Get their advice and support. You may need their gentle encouragement to get you moving on a new road of self-discovery.

You may discover now is the time to write, to paint, to entertain, to educate, or to heal. We all know many people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s who have rediscovered a purpose whether it is local history, grief counseling, dance, or ministry that has given them new energy, a new drive and enthusiasm for life. Growth and change continue until we die. We can decide to live an active life, but we can also decide how to live that active life full of passion and purpose. Our most satisfying discoveries may still be ahead of us.

Brain Tease: Here again is a mental exercise whose aim is to stimulate the associations between words in your temporal lobe. Find the third word that is associated with these given pairs of words. (I found these more difficult than last week’s.)

5. RIVER — MONEY; 6. BED — PAPER; 7. ARMY — WATER; 8. TENNIS — NOISE; 9. EGYPTIAN — MOTHER; 10. SMOKER — PLUMBER

The comedy-drama television series that aired on CBS from 1972 to 1983 and depicted the 4077th during the Korean War was M*A*S*H. I received correct answers from Chuck Rice, Sam Bilyeu, Billie Maxwell, Lana Tepfer, Rhonda Spies, Keith Clymer, Jess Birge, Margo Dameier, Maria Kollas, Patty Burnet, Dave Lutgens, Linda Frizzell, Pat Evenson-Brady, and this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket Rose Shultz who reminded me MASH stood for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.

A while back, I won’t mention how far back, there were poodle skirts, “letter” sweaters, go-go boots, and miniskirts. Another extremely popular fashion during the 60s and 70s was this style of pants where the legs flared out below the knee. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name for this style of pants often considered  a symbol of old-fashioned bad taste but to this day continues to make fashion comebacks as flared pants? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with a pair made by cutting the outside leg seam and sewing in a triangle of fabric to widen the leg.

Well, it’s been another week, trying to keep an eye on the bouncing ball. Until we meet again, as Pogo observed “Don’t take life so serious, son, it ain’t no how permanent.”

“The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it doesn’t matter if you’re not able to climb over.” Farmer Wisdom

Answers: Bank (Flow is also possible); Sheet; Tank; Racquet; Mummy; Pipe

Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted.

Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) – Mondays and Wednesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333)

For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services – Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068); Skamania County Senior Services (509-427-3990).

Do you use the Internet? According to a 2021 Pew Research survey, 75% of adults 65 and older said they were Internet users: emailing friends, following social media, accessing financial information, shopping online, or checking health information – all sensitive online information you want to protect.

There are many ways to increase your online security, Password Managers or Multi-Factor Authorization, but the first place to start is to make sure you have a strong password.

Most passwords are made up of letters, numbers, and symbols to confirm you are who you say you are—when you’re using a computer system. But it can be overwhelming trying to remember all of them!

So what do most of us do – or at least I do? We use the same password for all our online accounts. But you can see the risk. If someone steals your password for one account, they can access all your other accounts. Not good.

So what are some tips and tricks to create a strong unique password that can keep the bad guys away from your online information?

Use long password combinations consisting of a combination of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and special symbols. They should be at least 12 characters long, although it is recommended to use ones that are even longer.

Your passwords should not be based on your personal information: a nickname, your date of birth, or your pet’s name.

And a good password should be unique for each online account.

Here is a good example of a strong password: X5j13$#eCM1cG@Kdc. But who is going to remember that? Not me!

To create passwords that are easier to remember and still strong try these suggestions.

Use the Sentence Method. Choose a sentence, phrase, or a quote and take the first letters from that phrase and add numbers and punctuation to generate a seemingly random combination of characters. For example: “One for all and all for one”: The Three Musketeers becomes 14A&A413Mu$keteers!

Use the Dictionary Method. Choose a few words from the dictionary and string them together along with numbers and symbols. You could use ocean, beach, wind, sand to create the secure password: Ocean%Wind7Beach/Sand4

And as I mentioned, your password should be unique for every account. So rather than creating a whole new password for each account, simply add a different code to your password. For example, building on the above password, your Apple account password would be Ocean%Wind7Beach/Sand4APPL and your Google account password would be Ocean%Wind7Beach/Sand4GOOG.

Finally, a couple of suggestions from personal experience. Make sure you set up your security questions for your most sensitive online accounts, so when you forget your password, which you will do, you’ll be able to answer the questions to create a new password. And make sure someone you trust knows where you keep your passwords in case something happens to you.

Data leaks happen every day, and the next one could have your password in it. To protect your online information, a strong password is your first line of defense.

Brain Tease: Find the third word that is associated with a given pair of words. For the words PIANO and LOCK, the answer is KEY. Enjoy.

1. SHIP — CARD; 2. TREE — CAR; 3. SCHOOL — EYE; 4. PILLOW — COURT

The name of the competition where boys and girls would race down Akron, Ohio’s world-famous Derby Downs’ hill was the Soap Box Derby. I received correct answers from Billie Maxwell, Chuck Rice, Rhonda Spies, Lana Tepfer, Maria Kollas, Keith Clymer, and Pat Evenson-Brady this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket. 

This television series was a must-see for many of us when it aired on CBS from 1972 to 1983. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of this war comedy-drama television series that included an ensemble of memorable characters: “Hawkeye” Pierce, “Trapper” John, Frank Burns, Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan, Henry Blake, “Radar” O’Reilly, Maxwell Klinger, and Father Mulcahy. Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with a DVD of the 1970 movie on which the television series was based.

Well, it’s been another week, avoiding the potholes of life.  Until we meet again, don’t let the rotten apples spoil your day.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” Douglas Adams

Answers: Deck; Trunk; Pupil; Case

The Gorge has its unique beauty, history, and geology making it the wonderful place we call home. You can visit local art centers and museums, enjoy breathtaking vistas and recreational opportunities, and attend local events that take place every week. I wish I could mention all the exciting activities you could attend, but there just isn’t enough space.

But there’s always the exception, right? And this week I want to highlight three special activities in the Gorge that might appeal to us more mature adults – and you won’t have to spend hours fighting traffic in Portland to get there.

If you enjoy fine music, on May 15^th, The Gorge Winds Concert Band is returning for their Spring Concert directed by Danny Schneider. The performance begins at 3:00 and doors open for seating at 2:30. It will be held at the Zion Lutheran Church (101 W 10th St, The Dalles). The suggested donation is $5.00 per person. Masks are optional but you will need to show proof of vaccination at the door.

If you appreciate the history and natural wonders of the Gorge, the Columbia Gorge Discovery Center & Museum will be celebrating its 25th anniversary with an all-day event on Saturday, May 21^st. You are welcome to join the free festivities from 9 am. to 5 pm. A short commemoration ceremony will kick off the event. A ticketed salmon bake lunch will be offered from Warm Springs-owned Salmon King Fisheries and The Dalles’ Cobblestone Catering. Museum admission will be free for the day. Go to www.gorgediscovery.org or call (541) 296-8600 ext. 201 for more information and to purchase salmon bake tickets.

And if you enjoy the wonders of gardening, Central Gorge Master Gardener Association is hosting their Garden Tour on June 18, from 9 am to 1 pm. The tour will feature four beautiful gardens in White Salmon. Each garden is full of lovely plants and unique features that bring enjoyment to garden owners and their visitors. A special educational focus of the tour will be growing fruits and vegetables at home. Tickets are $15 apiece and to purchase tickets or for more information go online at https://blogs.oregonstate.edu/cgmga/. Tickets are also available at the following locations: Waucoma Book Store, Good News Gardening, and OSU Hood River Extension Office in Hood River, Dickey Farms in Bingen, Bloomsbury in Stevenson, or on June 18^th you can purchase tickets at Rheingarten Park in White Salmon. And to request accommodations because of a disability, contact Megan Wickersham at 541-386-3343 (x38257) megan.wickersham@oregonstate.eduby June 10^th.

So, mark your calendar. You don’t want to miss these wonderful opportunities during this merry month of May – and June.

In this week’s Brain Tease you must find the pattern that relates these numbers in order to find the missing numbers in the series.

1.) 2,6,14,26,42,?;

2.) 4,2,7,5,10,8,13,?;

3.) 1, 5, 13, 29, ?, ?.

The names of the anchors who hosted the nightly news program on NBC from 1956 through 1970 and signed off each night with “Good night, Chet. Good night, David. And good night, for NBC News.” were Chet Huntley and David Brinkley. I received correct answers from Mike McFarlane, Stephen Woolpert, Sam Bilyeu, Betsy Ayres, Chuck Rice, Lana Tepfer, Rhonda Spies, Kim Birge, Rebecca Abrams, Patty Burnet, Dave Lutgens, Doug Nelson, Linda Frizzell, and Maria Kollas this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.

The idea for this competition came from a Dayton, Ohio newsman who in 1933 came across a group of boys racing their homemade cars in the summer. From those humble beginnings, thousands of boys and girls from eight to twenty raced their unpowered cars down Akron, Ohio’s world-famous Derby Downs’ 989-foot hill relying completely upon gravity. For this week’s “Remember When” question what is the name of this annual competition? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with two tickets to Senior Day on August 11^thwhen older adults can live their childhood fantasy of racing down Derby Downs Hill.

Brain Tease answer: 1.) 62; 2.) 11; 3.) 61 and 125

Well, it’s been another week, looking for the right answer behind every closed door. Until we meet again, there’s something to be said for just staying calm.

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” Swedish Proverb 

 Every May, the Administration for Community Living (ACL) leads the nation’s observance of Older Americans Month. It began in 1963 when President John F. Kennedy and members of the National Council of Senior Citizens met to address the growing concerns of America’s 17 million individuals ages 65 and older. At the time, one-third of all seniors lived in poverty with few social programs available to help support them. 

To raise awareness of the problems facing seniors and to honor them, then-President Kennedy and the Council proclaimed May as Senior Citizens Month.  Two years later, in 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson passed the Older Americans Act of 1965 and formally declared May as Older Americans Month.

The theme for this year is “Age My Way,” recognizing how older adults are taking charge of their health, getting engaged in their communities, and making a positive impact in the lives of others in both large and small ways.

But “Aging My Way” doesn’t just happen. Well, it can but the result isn’t always what you would hope. To grow older the way you want, the Administration on Community Living suggests four common areas to consider.

Planning: You never know what future challenges and also opportunities you will find which makes it difficult to plan. But it is important to start thinking about what you will need and want. For example, do you plan to live in your own home for as long as possible? Are there health considerations where you may need in-home assistance at some time? Do you want to travel to exotic places – or maybe non-exotic places?

Access: If you plan to stay in your home, what home improvements and modifications can you make to help you better age in place? AARP has published online a HomeFit Guide that examines ways to make a home aging-friendly by modifying exits, kitchens, living rooms, stairs, bedrooms, and bathrooms thus making your home a better “fit”.

Engagement: How are you going to stay involved and contribute to your community? Working, volunteering, attending church? The contributions of older adults are essential to the health of any community.

Connection: How are you going to stay connected to combat the number one threat to your health and wellbeing: social isolation. The community centers for older adults in the Gorge are a great resource. They offer activities and can refer you to resources you may need.

By planning, making your home age-friendly, staying involved in your community, and staying socially connected, you can “Age Your Way” and enjoy the many years ahead.

This week’s Brain Tease may be too easy but try it on for size. 1) In the dead of winter, you are in a house with only one match. There is a gas lamp, a fireplace, and a wood stove. Which would you light first?

The name of the television series where Martin Milner and George Maharis traveled the back roads of America in their 1961 Corvette convertible was Route 66. I received correct answers from Jeannie Pesicka, Rhonda Spies, Lana Tepfer, Diana Weston, Jess Birge, Keith and Marlene Clymer, Patty Burnett, and DeAnn Orand this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.

In the1950s the nationally televised news programs were in their infancy – only fifteen minutes long until 1963 when the evening news expanded to thirty minutes every weeknight. The competition was tight between Walter Cronkite on CBS and the two newscasters on NBC. For this week’s “Remember When “question, what were the last names of the two anchors who hosted the nightly news program on NBC from 1956 through 1970 and signed off each night with “Good night, Chet. Good night, David. And good night, for NBC News.” Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with a recording of NBC’s coverage of the 1956 national political conventions.

Brain Tease answer: match

Well, it’s been another week, wondering why everything has to be so complicated! Until we meet again, even at our age it is good to heed the advice Christopher Robin gave Winnie-the-Pooh, “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” Will Rogers

 Last January I shared ideas about how to downsize including the different categories of items you might want to get rid of: the “just in case”, “maybe-someday”, “might-be-valuable” and “maybe-my-children-will-want” items.

While deciding what to clear out is difficult enough, I have found another challenge. Can you and your spouse agree? What is obvious to me to eliminate has sentimental value for her and the opposite is true. So, we have kicked the can down the hall and created another category “haven’t decided yet” which has allowed us to maintain our 47 years of marriage – at least so far.

My wife and I are making progress “decluttering” if you don’t count 80 banker boxes of stuff stored in the basement. The plan is to move into our small basement apartment which we’ve been painting, scraping, and installing countertops and sinks – and asking ourselves, “Why are we so tired?”

But all the remodeling has given me less time to write this column. so as I’ve done before when time is short or the well is dry, I looked for something I wrote in the past to revise.

So, here is an amusing test of your critical thinking skills I found on the Internet back in 2018 which you probably don’t remember, at least I don’t because I couldn’t answer a single question correctly – again!

There are only four questions with explanations, but you’ll have to put your logical thinking skills on the back burner and think outside the proverbial box.

1. The Giraffe Test – How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you move on.

The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. The Elephant Test – How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King Test – The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend … except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, this is your last chance before you have to pick up the phone to schedule your appointment. Think!

4. The Crocodile Test – There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Haven’t you been lis-ten-ing? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

So how did you do? Are you still mentally on top of your game? If you couldn’t answer any of the questions correctly, don’t worry. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals tested got all the questions wrong. But don’t feel too relieved. They also tested preschoolers and found most children answered at least one question correctly!

The name of the comedian who performed on stage and in several movies with his brothers, Chico, Harpo, Gummo, Zeppo, and hosted the comedy quiz series You Bet Your Life was Groucho Marx. I received correct answers from Steven Woolpert, Rhonda Spies, Dave Lutgens, Kim Birge, Margo Dameier, Keith and Marlene Clymer, and Donna Mollett this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket. Did I miss anyone from last week?

Did you ever have the dream of finding adventure traveling across the back roads of America in a 1961 corvette convertible? For this week’s “Remember When “question, that was the basic plot of what television series starring Martin Milner and George Maharis that aired from 1960 through 1964 on Friday nights? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with a map of the Will Rogers Memorial Highway.

Well, it’s been another week pretending to know what I don’t. Until we meet again, as the Beatles once sang, “Let it be”, or as the philosopher farmer from Fossil would say, “Don’t interfere with something that ain’t bothering you none.”

“I intend to live forever or die trying.” Groucho Marx

 Because many have been asking, I told my wife I was going to write about retirement, and she said, “You’ve been retired for only 7 weeks! What do you know?”

Well, actually, not much. But I have learned this transition hasn’t been easy. I have mixed emotions. My north star has vanished and I often feel directionless. And yet I have the freedom to do more of what I want to do – if I can figure out what that is!

I no longer have my familiar routine: waking up, taking my pills with breakfast, going to work, coming home, taking my pills with dinner, going to bed. Now I have time to read the newspaper instead of skimming through it; do the things I once thought were unimportant as learning how to use the remotes for the TV, and I don’t have to hurry to complete a project on the weekend. I can wait till Monday. But what more can I expect during my retirement years?

I found on the Wildpine retirement community website, the five common stages of retirement that many retirees encounter. Tell me if you’ve experienced any of these stages.

The first stage is Pre-Retirement or “I can’t wait!”. This stage is filled with excitement and anticipation, but often also with worry and doubt, as you imagine what your new life will be like both emotionally and financially. 

The second stage is “This is great! I can do anything I want!” During this honeymoon phase, you can rest and relax with time to travel, pursue your hobbies, and catch up with family, old friends, and even your spouse if both of you are now retired.

The third stage is “Now what?”. The retirement honeymoon is over, and you feel something is missing. You start searching to find what gives your life purpose and meaning.

The fourth stage is “Who am I?” This stage is often considered the most challenging: creating a new identity that provides a meaningful purpose in your life. You may pursue a new passion such as painting, or volunteering, or some older adults have even started a small business.

The last stage is what I call “Life is good”. It may be fifteen years after retirement, but you’ve settled into a stable, simpler, and relaxing lifestyle that is fun and rewarding. Only if your body would cooperate!

Everyone experiences retirement in their own way. For myself, I seemed to have skipped the honeymoon and immediately went to the “Now what?” stage. But whatever has been your experience, I hope you have found retirement to be the best of everything you imagined.

This week’s Brain Teaser spun my brain around so many times I couldn’t stand up. See how well you can do. “The day before two days after the day before tomorrow is Saturday. What day is it today?”

The name of game played on a large plastic mat with six rows of large colored circles that was a national phenomenon in the late 60s and is still sold today is Twister. I received correct answers from Steven Woolpert, Millie Baumgartner, Jeannie Pesicka, Rhonda Spies, Patty Burnet, Kim Birge, Marlene Clymer, and Lana Tepfer who believes we may be past playing Twister anymore (at least I am) and is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.

Many young people may recognize Karl more than this entertainer considered to have been a master of quick wit. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of the comedian who performed on stage and in several movies with his brothers and hosted the comedy quiz series You Bet Your Life? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or send it with a portrait of Margaret Dumont.

Answer: Friday. The “day before tomorrow” is today; “the day before two days after” is really one day after. So, if “one day after today is Saturday,” then it must be Friday. Got that?

Well, it’s been another week, looking out for what I can’t see. Until we meet again, don’t live as if you’re eating soup with a fork – going through all the motions but getting little out of life.   

“I have the worst memory ever, so no matter who comes up to me – they’re just, like, ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember me!” I’m like, ‘Oh Dad I’m sorry!’ – Ellen DeGeneres

We’re in a technological revolution from Smartphones to Roomba robot vacuum cleaners. But for us who have not grown up with all the advances in technology, it can be daunting. (My pocket calculator in high school was a slide rule.)

First, there’s all the unfamiliar terminology: touchpad, mouse, router, browsers, phishing. And then there are the different computer operating systems: Apple, Google, and Microsoft. And once you understand one thing, it is “improved” – and you must relearn it – again!

Because it’s so overwhelming many of you have decided not to dive in. But you have friends who are enjoying the swim and now you might want to learn more about how to purchase a computer; how to use Zoom to see and talk with your grandchildren; or how to protect your personal information so you can bank online safely.

But where do you begin?

To assist older adults in utilizing the benefits of technology and avoid the dangers, GOBHI’s Older Adult Behavioral Health Initiative is partnering with Senior Planet powered by Older Adults Technology Services (OATS) from AARP to offer innovative classes designed for adults 60 and over. The lectures and courses will be led by trained instructors and held at the Mid-Columbia Senior Center.

The classes will begin with a series of five weekly lectures on Thursdays from 2:00 – 3:15: “Smartphones” on April 14^th; “How to Choose a New Computer” on April 21^st; “Protecting Your Personal Information Online” on April 28^th; “All Things Zoom” on May 5th; and “How to Spot Fake News” on May 12^th. 

The weekly lectures will be followed by a five-week Chromebook Essentials course from 2:00 – 3:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting Tuesday, May 17^th.

This course will cover the essentials of how to use a Chromebook – a popular type of laptop that is great for beginners who just want to use the internet. (Thanks to Google in The Dalles for donating ten Chromebooks for the class.) If you’re interested in any of the lectures or the Chromebook Essentials course call (541) 296-4788 or email Britta Willson at bwillson@gobhi.org

If you can’t attend the classes, you can go online to the Senior Planet website to register for many of their virtual classes. And for technology questions, Senior Planet offers a Tech Hotline at 888-713-3495 between 6am and 2pm.

By using the Internet and other technologies we can change the way we age. We can connect with friends, participate in art and movement classes, attend public meetings, and advocate for causes important to us. So dive on in. Just make sure you avoid the rocks!

This week’s brain tease is more of a brain challenge. When I swim laps, which I enjoy but can be reaaaaally boring, I play this mental game you can try anytime, anywhere. I start by memorizing the seven days of the week in alphabetical order, then the first ten digits in alphabetical order, and finally the twelve months of the year. I’m proud to say I can recite them all alphabetically – but unfortunately only when I’m swimming!

The name of the police drama that aired on NBC from 1968 through 1975 and followed Los Angeles Police Department officers Pete Malloy and Jim Reed was Adam-12. I received correct answers from Rhonda Spies, Jess Birge, Rose Schulz, Lana Tepfer, Keith Clymer, and the winner of a quilt raffle ticket Gary Van Orman who in 1972 was an actor in an episode of Adam-12. And last week I missed Susan Ronning and Joyce Jennings.

This game of physical skill was a national phenomenon in the late 60s. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of “the game that ties you up in knots” played on a large plastic mat spread on the ground with six rows of large colored circles with a spinner telling you where to place your hand or foot? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or send it with the May 3, 1966 episode of the Tonight Show when actress Eva Gabor played the game with Johnny Carson.

Well, it’s been another week, asking, “Now what?”. Until we meet again, as I tell my kids, there is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth.

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” Rabindranath Tagore 

 In her book “Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer”, Connie Goldman discusses many secrets for living life to the fullest: attitude, risk-taking, humor, creativity, and forgiveness. But she also included one secret, you might not normally consider but appropriate at this time of the year: gardening. There are the external mechanics of gardening, but the value for late bloomers (and those of us who are still waiting to bloom) are the internal rewards: the opportunity for self-expression; a chance to see the beauty of the natural world; and experience the rhythms of birth, change, death and birth again. Gardening can provide a source of healing and renewal; a haven from the noise and clutter of the mechanical world and a place to contemplate our inner world; and for many a chance to be closer to God. Connie describes gardening as nourishment for the heart and soul.

Many have experienced those inner rewards. I have been tempted. I have looked inside that window and felt the attraction of gardening, but for many reasons, I haven’t walked around and gone in the front door or even the back door. Some have a green thumb. I have a brown thumb. I can hear the plants screaming when I come near. I have forgotten to water and have overwatered. I have allowed zucchini to grow three feet long and tomatoes, well, I never had much luck with tomatoes. But weeds I know well. They don’t need special efforts or even much rain to survive (during the dry summer if it weren’t for the green weeds my yard would look like a brown shag carpet). It may seem odd but maybe there is a reason for weeds: to remind us of nature’s ability to keep coming back; of nature’s resiliency – even though they are such a pain in the backside. And maybe that is what life is about.

In this month’s “Through the Eyes of an Elder”, Sheila Ford Richmond shares her love of gardening and the connection to the natural world.

This week’s Brain Tease to tickle your grey cells.

Mom and Dad have four daughters, and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the family?

.dad dna mom sulp ,nerdlihc evif gnikam ,rehtorb eno ylno evah srethguad ruof ehT .neveS

Because of my past column about video games, I decided to try two video games: Sega’s Sonic Racing and NBA 2K22. And I found out, “They’re hard to learn!” (But then maybe I should read the instructions – if I could find them.) It reminded me that it takes time and persistence to learn a new skill – and I realized I may have the time but not the persistence.

I’m more comfortable, although not any better, with word games. I just started playing what is apparently the latest craze, or at least it was, the word game Wordle which I’ve enjoyed. So whatever suits your fancy, video games, word games, or just a new card game with friends, enjoy the rewards of learning something new.

Hot off the wire. The Gorge’s own Amy Mallett, director of the Hood River Valley Adult Center, was awarded the Local Service Provider Champion Award at the National Senior Nutrition Program 50-year Celebration. Congratulations to Amy for her dedication to improving the health and well-being of older adults in the Gorge.

The individualized reading kits composed of boxes filled with color-coded cardboard cards that included a reading exercise and questions were SRA Reading Labs. (Science Research Associates). Several answered the tough question: Kathy Gay, Rhonda Spies, Jim Lindell, Doug Nelson, and Carolyn Bondurant who all win a quilt raffle ticket.

I just learned this television show is a childhood favorite of Rob Garrett, the new director of the Mid-Columbia Senior Center. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what is the name of the police drama that aired on NBC from 1968 through 1975 and followed Los Angeles Police Department officers Pete Malloy and Jim Reed as they patrolled the streets of Los Angeles. Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or drop it off while driving a 1968 Plymouth Belvedere.

Well, it’s been another week, feeling the optimism that comes with spring. Until we meet again, don’t let the wind blow you over.

“A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.” Doug Larson

 Ah, sleep: nighttime bliss when you escape from your daily worries, refresh your body and mind, and star in a nonsensical dream – waking up wondering what did that dream mean?

But it’s only bliss if you can get a good night’s sleep.

As we age, many health issues can interfere with our sleep: anxiety, depression, pain such as arthritis, medication’s side effects, bathroom runs, insomnia, sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome. It’s a wonder we ever get a good night’s sleep. It is estimated between 40% and 70% of older adults have chronic sleep issues which can significantly interfere with their daily activities and reduce their quality of life.

So what can you do to help get a good night’s sleep? Here are a few tips from the Sleep Foundation.

Exercise: older people who exercise regularly fall asleep faster, sleep longer, and report better quality of sleep.

Reduce bedroom distractions: televisions, cellphones, and bright lights.

Avoid substances that discourage sleep: alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, and even large meals late in the day.

Develop a bedtime routine and follow it. Include relaxing activities before bed such as a warm bath or reading. (I can’t get past four pages before falling asleep.)

Avoid napping after 3:00 pm, although before 3:00 some experts suggest that a “short” daytime nap may be beneficial – thank goodness!

Keep your bedroom at a temperature comfortable for you, and hopefully comfortable for your spouse also.

And the last one I will add, find a partner who doesn’t toss and turn all night. Fortunately, my wife hasn’t asked me to sleep in a separate bed – yet.

While getting a good night’s sleep, you also want to be safe. You might want to try these suggestions.

Keep a telephone by the bed: It’s important to be able to call for help from your bed.

Make sure a light is within reach that is easy to turn on.

Reduce fall hazards in the bedroom: rugs, cords, and furniture.

It is also recommended to put a glass of water next to your bed in case you wake up thirsty. But I’d use a capped bottle of water. I’m not the most coordinated in the middle of the night and I would surely knock over the glass.

Most people should get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night for the health of their mind and body. And besides, you don’t want to wake up tired and irritable all because of a poor night’s sleep

This week’s Brain Tease. Name 6 or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”

Answers: .stlits ,sgnikcots ,seohswons ,setaks ,siks ,sreppils ,srekaens ,sladnas ,skcos

The actor who in his first leading role starred in the “Dollars Trilogy”, the low-budget spaghetti westerns, was Clint Eastwood. I received correct answers from Lucile Stephens, Billy Maxwell, Sam Bilyeu, Tina Castanares, Doug Nelson, Rose Schulz, Kim Birge, Lana Tepfer, Dave Lutgens, Julie Carter, Gene Uczen, Steven Woolpert, and Dan Williams this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.  Last week I missed Gene Uczen and probably a few others.

I have received a few comments from certain individuals that the weekly question is too easy. Well to show them, here is a question I remember vividly from my grade school that I’m not sure if anyone else will. (You need to know my dad was a grade school principal.)

In 1957, this publisher of educational materials created individualized reading labs for grades schools composed of boxes filled with color-coded folded cardboard cards and each card included a reading exercise and questions. If you were successful answering the comprehension questions, you would move to the next color in the box. For this week’s “Remember When” what was the name of these reading kits. (Hint: It is a three-letter acronym for the company that created the reading kits.) Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail your answer written on the back of a check made out to Scott McKay for $10. (I’m not greedy!)

Well, it’s been another week, and still upright. Until we meet again, instead of what woulda, coulda, and shoulda happened, dream about what will, can, and shall happen.

“My mother told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.” Unknown

And one more.

“The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won’t get much sleep.” Woody Allen