But paying your income taxes can be complicated. Albert Einstein felt the hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. And that was in the 1940s! 

But there is help. 

Many of you may use an accountant, but if your returns are not complicated there are several other options. 

1) Software programs. There are several programs such as TurboTax, H&R Block, and TaxSlayer which will guide you step by step and then file your tax return electronically. But they do cost. 

2) Free help from the IRS. If your adjusted gross income is $73,000 or less, you can log on to the IRS.gov website and click on “File Your Taxes for Free”. There you’ll find “Free File” where you can complete and file your income tax return using many of the brand-name tax-preparation-and-filing software.   

3) AARP Gorge Tax–Aide. Another free option. If you don’t feel comfortable going online, Gorge Tax–Aide, primarily for low–income and elderly, will complete and file your tax return electronically.  

They will have five sites open beginning February 14: Hood River Public Library, Mondays 2 – 5 PM; Hood River Valley Adult Center, Thursdays 2 – 5 PM; Tygh Valley, Thursdays 9 – 12 PM; The Mid-Columbia Senior Center, Fridays 3 – 6 PM; White Salmon, Senior Services, Tuesdays 9 – 12 AM. Potentially additional times will be added. 

All tax preparation will be by appointment only – no drop–ins. To request an appointment, email gorgetaxaide@gmail.com including your name and contact information and your preferred tax preparation site. Requests for specific times will be considered but are not guaranteed 

At your appointment, you will drop off your tax information and meet briefly with a certified tax preparer.  When your tax return is completed, you will be contacted to schedule a brief meeting to pick up a copy of your tax return and sign your consent form to allow Gorge Tax–Aide to file your return electronically.  

As F. J. Raymond said, “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” So, this year try to file your taxes early and electronically to receive your tax refund as soon as possible. 

During our lives we’ve all learned many and sometimes many painful lessons. In this month’s “Through the Eyes of An Elder” Bruce Bolme shares his life research and the lessons he has learned.  

The 1958 novelty song “Beep, Beep” sung by the Playmates describes a Cadillac being passed at 120 mph by a Nash Rambler as the driver yells out, “Hey, buddy, how can I get this car out of second gear”. I received correct answers from Sam Bilyeu, Barbara Cadwell, Rhonda Spies, Lana Tepfer, Doug Nelson, Rebecca Adams, Barbara Miller, Gene Uczen, Rose Schulz, Donna Mollett, Diana Weston, Dave Lutgens, Keith and Marlene Clymer, and Linda Frizzell who is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.  

Polarization and conflict are not new to American politics as was demonstrated during the 1960s and ’70s. This week’s “Remember When” question takes us back to those days. For two years the United States’ president and vice president were not elected by the people in a general election. Who was this U.S. President that served from August of 1974 through January of 1977? And for bonus points, who were the two politicians he replaced? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail it with a No. 48 football Jersey from the University of Michigan. 

Well, it’s been another week, trying to find the energy to do what I “want” to do. Until we meet again, find the bright side in what you “need” to do. 

“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” — Unknown 

Did you know children laugh an average of four hundred times a day compared to adults who laugh only an average of twenty-five? Okay, that may just be a myth, but we can all admit we laugh much less than children. (Of course, it’s hard to compete when young children giggle every time they hear the word “poop”!) 

We should laugh more because it’s been shown that laughing is good for us. According to the Mayo Clinic website, it can stimulate your heart, lungs, and muscles and improve your immune system.  

In addition, laughter can also help us both socially and emotionally: strengthening our relationships with others, improving our mood, reducing tension and stress, and helping us endure difficult situations. Bob Hope once said, “I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.” 

But I’ve found there is a fine line between funny and offensive – and that line is different for all of us. What’s particularly tricky is a comment can be funny or offensive depending on the content, context, and who is telling the joke to whom. I often poke fun at myself for my memory slips, but if a young person makes fun of their grandmother’s spotty memory (who could be younger than I am) it bothers me. Those types of comments reinforce an offensive stereotype of all “old” people by someone who probably doesn’t know many older folks with all their talents.  

So have you found your inner child and laughed today? If not see if any of these jokes tickle your funny bone. 

“I went grocery shopping hungry yesterday. I’m now the proud owner of aisle 9.” Ruth Buzzi 

“Some people have a way with words, and other people…oh, uh, not have way.” Steve Martin 

“Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, “what for?” Steve Wright 

And finally, one more – just between us. 

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great.” “That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?” Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” 

“You mean a rose?” 

“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?” 

This week find time to be with folks who laugh, to tell a few jokes, and watch your favorite comedies. But if you find it difficult to keep a sense of humor, consider what Art Linkletter suggests you do. “If you can’t think of anything else when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh.” 

The 1952 musical romantic comedy film about the transition from silent film to talkies starring Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connor, Jean Hagen, and 19-year-old Debbie Reynolds was Singing in the Rain. I received correct answers from Rhonda Spies, Lana Tepfer, Linda Frizzell, Barbara Cadwell, Doug Nelson, Gene Uczen, Dave Lutgens, Rebecca Abrams, and Cindy Winfield who is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket. And last week I missed Jess Birge 

Remember the novelty songs from the 50s and 60s:  “The Purple People Eater”, “Witch Doctor”, Monster Mash”, and ”Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Over Night?” Let’s see if you can answer this week’s “Remember When” question about the 1958 novelty song “Beep, Beep” sung by the Playmates. The song describes, in an increasingly faster tempo, a Cadillac being followed and then passed by what make of car? Email your answer to www.mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or mail it with a picture from the 1950s of the AMC’s assembly plant in Kenosha, Wisconsin.  

Well, it’s been another week, trying to find more yeses than nos. Until we meet again, I know I’m getting older when in the morning I spend more time taking my medications and vitamins than eating breakfast! 

I know some of you have heard I’m retiring as Director of the Mid-Columbia Senior Center. But retirement can be seen not as a time to withdraw, but a time to reprioritize what is important. In my case, working is still a priority, although part-time, but has moved down the list behind enjoying more time with my wife, reading more – especially the three books my children recently gave me, traveling, (Although when working I had the money to travel, but didn’t have much time. And now retired I’ll have more time but less money!) and volunteering. I’ll also continue writing this column until I run out of ideas or the words to express them. We’ll see how long that lasts.    

As we enter a new year, I hope to continue sharing useful and practical information about aging; offering encouragement because as we all know getting older is not a piece of cake; and of course, having some fun along the way, because life can be WAY too serious! And you’ll continue finding that this column is not very sophisticated. I’m just not that smart. So if you‘re looking for writing that’s more polished and refined, it ain’t gonna be here.

Writing this column has been a gift for which I will always be thankful. In our lives, all of us have been blessed with gifts from loved ones, friends, and possibly even from strangers. After reading this month’s “Through the Eyes of an Elder” where local older adults share the most memorable gifts they have received, take time to appreciate the special gifts you have been given. 

I know this is a little late, but it’s still only January, right! And I know there is still plenty of ice and snow to come. But if you must go outside on these wintry days, don’t forget to “walk like a penguin”! What does that mean? So you don’t have to watch a National Geographic special about penguins, it means pointing your feet out slightly, bending your knees and keeping them loose, extending your arms out to your side and hands out of your pockets, and taking short steps or waddling. I also suggest you dress in a more formal black and white attire to really get into the mood. 

In addition, since we haven’t evolved webbed feet yet, wear shoes or boots with traction. And try some defensive walking: assume all wet and dark areas on the pavement are icy – especially around snowbanks where the melt–off freezes overnight. And if it’s still too treacherous, stay home. A quick trip to the store isn’t worth a broken hip. 

Whether it’s icy or not, this is a good time to remember that falls are the leading cause of fatal and nonfatal injuries among older adults. So, don’t rush, stay focused, and “walk like a penguin”! 

Okay, let’s see if I can correctly list all of you who have sent in answers for the last two week’s questions.  

The popular snack strung together to decorate a Christmas tree was popcorn. I received correct answers from Lana Tepfer, Dave Lutgens, Gene Uczen, Keith and Marlene Clymer, Carol Earl, Susan Ellis, and Chuck Rice. 

And the comedian/actor whose theme song was “Thanks for the Memory” was Bob Hope. For that question, I received correct answers from Rose Schulz, Barbara Cadwell, Doug Nelson, Rhonda Spies, Dave Lutgens, and Rebecca Abrams. The winners of quilt raffle tickets for the last two weeks are Chuck Rice and Dave Lutgens.

First, there was the movie Francis which premiered in 1950 and starring Francis the talking mule and Donald O’Connor. Then in 1961, a television sitcom featured a talking palomino horse and Wilbur Post his hapless owner. For this week’s “Remember When” question what was the name of this television series? E-mail your answers to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail it with the episode when Mae West was a guest star. 

Well, it’s been another week, tangled up in all my loose ends. Until we meet again, as anonymous once said, “As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way”. 

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” Hal Borland 

It’s just the opposite! Centers and meal sites offer opportunities to socialize, exercise, and share stories both funny and sad. Okay, there are canes and walkers, but they are just tools to stay active and engaged.  

 
But what is “old”? 

You may have heard the common quote by Bernard Baruch who stated, “Old age is ten years older than I am”. And according to the 2009 Pew Research Study “Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality,” he isn’t far off the mark. The study found that as people grew older, they felt relatively younger. Among adults 65 and older, 60% felt younger than their age. And for those between 65 and 74, a half said they felt 10 to 20 years younger. 

In terms of chronological age, academics have categorized old age into three subgroups: the Young Old 65-74, the Old 75-84, and the Oldest Old 85 plus. But chronological age doesn’t really help either because it doesn’t correlate with biological age. In fact, there is no reliable measurement for determining our biological age; and appearances alone don’t determine how old we are. (My lungs could be 45 but my knees are telling me, “Take it easy. I’m 101!’) 

The reality is we all start aging the moment we’re born; we cannot stop it or reverse it – contrary to what you may hear. Arriving at the point of being “old” is an individual experience that resists any absolute definition.   

But for me, I’ve found some signs that maybe, just maybe I am no longer that young whippersnapper. (Well, that’s a clue. Who uses the word whippersnapper anymore!) 

Here are several clues I’ve found. 

1.) I don’t know the names of current celebrities unless they are over 65.  

2.) When I fly, TSA no longer considers me a high–security risk. 

3.) An elderly woman in Portland was reported hurt and was 10 years younger than I am. 

4.) When someone asks for help moving furniture, they look right past me. (But I’m not complaining!) 

5.)  I’m bundled up in a winter coat and scarf and high school kids are walking around in T-shirts. 

6.) I fall asleep in the evening while watching television and my wife must explain what just happened.  

7.) You turn to the classic rock station and it’s playing 80’s music. (What’s that about!) 

8.) I prefer to stay in rather than go out. 

9.) Items from my youth are now considered “vintage”. 

10.) When telling a story, I begin with the disclaimer, “I may have told you this before.” 

As Helen Hayes once said, “Age doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese” – or unless you are applying for Social Security and Medicare! 

The cap Fess Parker made famous in the Disney miniseries Davy Crockett was a coonskin cap and the talking doll popular in the 60s that could speak when you pulled the string from her back was a Chatty Cathy doll. I received correct answers from John McEwen, Emmett Sampson, Susan Ellis, Stephen Woolpert, Tina Castanares, Pat Cadwell, Margo Dameier, Gene Uczen, Jess Birge, Nancy Higgins, Lana Tepfer, Rhonda Spies, Jim Tindall, Keith Clymer, and Rebecca Abrams, this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket. And in the last two weeks, I missed Susan Ellis, Maureen Wells, and Keith Clymer. 

There are many Christmas traditions I remember as a child and I continued with my children. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what popular snack (without the butter and salt) was strung together with a needle and string to decorate a Christmas tree? E-mail your answers to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail it with a bag of cranberries which was a common addition to add to the string. 

Well, that’s another week – spinning my wheels on the icy road of life. Until we meet again, let the sleigh bells ring; the treetops glisten, and your heart be light – as I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. 

“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’.” Bing Crosby 

BJ Gallagher, a contributor to HuffPost an online news source, knows it’s not easy to change habits but has some ideas on how to stay motivated to do what you know is good for you.  

Drop “should” and “ought” from your vocabulary.  

These are negative words driven by a sense of guilt. Instead, try using “want” which is positive. “I want to eat less sodium”. “I should eat less sodium.” See the difference? 

Keep It Small and Simple.  

Set yourself up to succeed by setting small, achievable goals. To start walking, try walking around the block once; then gradually increase the distance. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. 

No one can do it for you, but you can’t do it alone.  

When you go walking ask a friend to join you. Or if you want to exercise, join a Strong Women’s or water aerobics class. Knowing friends are expecting you is a great motivator – plus you can catch up on the latest news.  

Success is about progress, not perfection.  

As you’re moving in the direction you want, pat yourself on the back. Or reward yourself. Buy that pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Oops, bad example! But give yourself credit for successes even if they are small ones.  

Re-train yourself with love.  

We want the best for our children because we love them. The same can be said for ourselves. If we care about ourselves, what we “should” do becomes what we “want” to do, and we can start changing old habits.  

We’ll soon start a new year: a new beginning to do for ourselves what we “want” to do. It’s possible but it won’t be easy. As Mark Twain wisely pointed out: “A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time.”  

Now, anyone for more fruits and vegetables? 

Let’s see if I can get this right. From two weeks ago, the state laws that prohibited certain types of retail operations on Sundays particularly liquor stores were called Blue Laws.  I received correct answers from Emmett Sampson, Steven Woolpert, Susan Ellis, Doug Nelson, Pat Cadwell, Janet Hinkley, Lana Tepfer, Rose Schulz, Gene Uczen, Dave Lutgens, Pat Kelly, Mike McFarlane, Carol Hayes, and Leo Walton winner of a quilt raffle ticket. And I missed Tiiu Vahtel.  

For last week’s question, the voice of the mean old Grinch (and the narrator) in the 1961 animated television special How the Grinch Stole Christmas was Boris Karloff who also starred in the 1931 horror film Frankenstein. I received correct answers from only Gene Uczen, Emmett Sampson, and Keith Clymer all of whom are winners of a quilt raffle ticket.  

This week’s “Remember When” questions are about gifts you may have received during Christmas pasts. For the boys, what kind of cap did Fess Parker make famous in the Disney miniseries Davy Crockett? And a tough one for the girls. What was the name of the talking doll popular in the 60s that could speak different phrases including “I love you” when you pulled the string from her back? E-mail your answers to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail it with a book of S&H Green Stamps. 

Well, it has been another week waiting anxiously for the first snow. Until we meet again, even with two strikes against you, you’re still in the game. 

“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.” Will Rogers 

Yes, but the loss of a loved one can be particularly challenging during this season when memories of Christmases together come flooding back, along with all the conflicting questions associated with grief: Shouldn’t I be over this? Why can’t I feel happy? 
 
Or maybe during this season, there is someone you know who is experiencing the loss of a loved one; needing your support by being open and present to their often silent sadness, but not knowing what to say.  

It’s never easy, but to help get through these difficult situations, I’d like to share a few brief suggestions. 

If you are grieving,  

Accept the grief – do not try to “be brave”. Share your grief with family or a friend and if a friend tells you to “snap out of it” find another friend.  

Keep busy – do work that occupies your mind. 

Take care of yourself – you may feel you don’t care but that will change. You are important and valuable.  

Eat well – at this point in your life you need good nourishment.  

Exercise regularly – return to your old program or start a new one soon.  

Get rid of the imagined guilt – you did the best you could. If you made mistakes accept that you, like everyone else, are not perfect.  

Associate with old friends – this may be difficult, because some may be embarrassed by your presence, but they will get over it.  

Join a group of others who are sorrowing – you may need new friends who have been through your experience. If interested, Providence offers grief support. Call 541-387-6449. 

Postpone major decisions – for example, wait at least a year, if you can, before deciding to sell your house or change jobs.  

Take advantage of your religious affiliations, if you have one – if you have been inactive this might be the time to become involved again.  

Get professional help if needed – There comes a time to stop crying and to live again.  

 
You may not be grieving, but if you know someone who is, what do you say? Often just listening, and a simple “I’m sorry” or a hug can show you care. And although tempting there are some things you may not want to say. For example: 

“I could never handle what you are going through!” Don’t talk about how their loss affects you, or project what you would do.  

Anything that starts with “At least”. Don’t try to force the person to be positive or to lighten their mood by saying something you think is funny about their situation.  

“You’ll see her again someday.” Be careful referencing religion unless you’re certain the bereaved shares your faith. 

“Stay strong”. Avoid telling them how to feel. They are in a difficult place and will move through their grief in their own way. 

As we age, we will all experience the loss of loved ones. We will cope and carry on; and as Thomas Attig points out, we will meet the most difficult challenge “making the transition from loving in presence to loving in separation.” 

Oops, I ran out of space trying to cover too much. Next week I won’t be so wordy and will include the answer to last week’s “Remember When” question. 

But for this week, before Jim Carrey’s Grinch stole Christmas, there was an animated television special of the children’s classic, first shown in 1966. For this week’s “Remember When” question who was the voice of the Grinch (and also the narrator) playing one of his final roles? E-mail your question to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or mail it with a copy of the 1931 science fiction horror film Frankenstein. 

Well, it has been another week kicking down the cobblestones and feeling groovy. Until we meet again, keep searching because you never know what you’ll find. 

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep stepping.” Chinese Proverb