Senior Living February 19^th

I am always amazed how much faster time goes by as I age. It was just yesterday when my kids were in daycare and now 17 years later one is working back east and the other is about ready to go off to college. How time flies. But I have had this experience before: taking tests in school. During the first half of the test, time moved gently as I concentrated on the initial problems. Then half way through, the clock started ticking faster and during the last 15 minutes it was racing to the end. But I still had several problems to complete; I wasn’t sure I was going to finish them; I just needed a little more time and then, boom, time was up. Until recently I would have used this as a metaphor for life. You are trying to make up for all the time you spent during the first 90 minutes, by accomplishing as much as you can in the last 30 minutes. But I have also found with age comes a sense of acceptance or maybe clarity where different values become important. Do we really have to finish all the problems? Should we not just focus on one or two problems that really matter and enjoy and appreciate the gift of the moment? Then as I start enjoying the moment and appreciate the now, the waters calm and time begins to slow down once again.

Lucille Torgerson and Kathleen Flynn who have facilitated the Senior Center’s the “Let’s Talk” discussion series on affirmative aging have another exciting opportunity planned. They both know the difficulties and challenges that occur between older parents and their adult children and see the need to better understand how to deal with those situations. In order to learn more they have invited Lee Paton, a highly respected and sought after speaker throughout the US, to provide an educational workshop on this subject. Lee is an RN, Ph.D. and a clinical gerontologist with a specialty in dementia and end of life care. She works to design creative care strategies to enhance each person’s health and quality of being alive.

As Lee explains it, “Like it or not, elders and their families tend to bristle whenever issues of care and long term planning arise. No matter how well intentioned the parties might be, these topics are highly emotional for nearly all of us. All too often, parents and their children fall into a deep abyss of guilt, shame, and frustration when discussing these concerns, yet there are creative and compassionate ways to build bridges to safely cross these dangerous chasms. This workshop will focus on identifying the major stumbling blocks, stopping the war between parents and adult children, and coping with the challenges of aging with grace and love.”

The workshop will be held on Saturday May 10^th (Mother’s Day weekend) and because this workshop addresses such an important issue so many of us face or will face, I wanted to let you know about it early. You will hear more details as we get closer to the workshop.

Focus Groups

We have scheduled several focus groups to gather your ideas and opinions on what you would like to see with the new proposed expansion of the Senior Center. The next focus groups are scheduled for Thursday February 28^th at 2:00 pm and Tuesday March 3^rd at 10:00 am. Everyone is invited whether you currently use the Senior Center or not. We want input from the whole senior community.

Travel Club

The Senior Center’s Travel Club is going to meet on Thursday February 28^th at 1:00 to discuss possible trips for this spring and summer. Louise Gonzales has already reserved 24 excellent seats for the matinee performance of “Phantom of the Opera” in Portland on August 14^th. Even though the show is in the summer and we aren’t even into spring yet (only 29 more days) we wanted to reserve the best possible seats for this popular musical. Stop by or call the Senior Center to reserve your seat.

Next Chapter

There has been fantastic attendance at the “Next Chapter” Lecture Series averaging around 30 people for the last several presentations. The series has touched on all kinds of subjects from finances to advance directives to local history. This coming Tuesday the 26^th at 11:00 at the Senior Center, we will enter the medical field and learn about the latest in Rehabilitation Medicine and Physical Therapy presented by the Mid-Columbia Medical Center’s Rehabilitation and Mind Body Institute. It promises to be both informative and fun concluding with an interactive Mind/Body Game. Don’t miss it!

Tuesday Night Music

Next Tuesday Night at 7:00 the “Jazz Generations” will be playing at the Senior Center. Have I mentioned how beneficial dancing is for your heart and soul? Am I being a little pushy? Come on down to the Senior Center and kick up your heels while enjoying the fine music provided by the “Jazz Generations”. And if it is not too late, “Pennies and Small Change” are performing tonight.

Well that is it again for another week and as I struggled to find the right words that last hour went awfully fast. It is like taking a test all over again. So if someday you find this column only half finished, you will know I was just enjoying the moment. Until we meet again, take care and breathe deep.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
— George Burns

Senior Living February 12^th

On January 4^th 1987, over 200 people attended the grand opening of the Mid-Columbia Senior Center built on the principles of sharing and caring. In 2012 we will celebrate the 25th anniversary the Mid-Columbia Senior Center: the proud legacy of the “United Seniors”, and what a perfect time it would be to celebrate the next 25 years with a new addition to the Senior Center.

As we look forward at how to make the new addition a reality, it may help to look back for lessons from when the center was first built. Fortunately, all the newspaper articles about the planning and building of the current center were collected so we can remember this fascinating story.

The first saved newspaper article from September 6^th 1984, shows the floor plan for a 9500 square foot two-story building with an elevator. It was quite different from what the center is today which is the first lesson: although the vision of the center may remain true, the design and layout of the building may change significantly from beginning to end, because of input from seniors and the architects and because of financial constraints.

The second lesson was although the seniors were united around their vision, there was disagreement around the implementation. Specifically, the issue was whether to let out for bid the construction of the senior center with or without a partial basement. Through this expansion project there will also be differences and there will be opportunities where they can be expressed in a constructive way. We want to make sure everyone has a chance to contribute their ideas so we can best meet the needs of every senior.

Finally, as Karl Kramer was quoted in The Dalles Chronicle “a lot of talk don’t count” and this may be the most important lesson: it took a lot of hard work and perseverance (besides donations) to build this center and it will take the same to add an addition. The “United Seniors” remained true to their vision and their legacy has been tremendous. With the help of our valuable partners and remaining true to the center’s vision that “every senior lives with joy in an enriching and fulfilling environment knowing they are loved” we can make also leave a valuable legacy for the next 25 years.

We sincerely want to thank The Dalles City, Nolan Young, Mayor Robb Van Cleave and the Public Works Department for fixing the Senior Center flag pole so we can respectfully display the flag as it should be done. Also a big thank-you to the folks at Design Structures particularly Linda for doing the impossible and having drawings prepared for the Thursday presentation.

This Saturday from 8:00 – 10:00 is the Senior Center’s monthly breakfast. Edna and Bonnie are cooking up French Toast, Bacon, Scrambled Eggs, Fruit and the regular coffee, milk juice or tea. Why not have someone else make breakfast for you and help out the senior center at the same time? (Unfortunately we are unable to deliver to you bed.)

The speaker for our “Next Chapter” Lecture Series presentation on February 19^th is Jim Bishop of Westcorp Mortgage discussing “Reverse Mortgages” and whether this financial tool could be appropriate for you. Because many seniors are cash poor but equity rich, reverse mortgages have been promoted as a possible way to stay in your home and remain independent longer.

The Senior Center’s Tuesday Night Music Program on February 19^th at 7:00 presents “Pennies and Small Change”. They are a group of local musicians who just like to play a variety of music for your pleasure from bluegrass to Irish fiddle and gospel. Their music gets you up and dancing with Jack Shepherd on honky-tonk piano and guitar, Susan Crowley on guitar and banjo, Peny Wallace on mandolin and fiddle and Emily Krager on fiddle and bass. Admission is always free and open to everyone and every age. And if you read this in time, the crowd favorites “The Notecrackers” will be performing tonight.

I would like to close with one of my favorite stories, “The Starthrower” by Loren Eisley. As we work to make our communities better for all generations, it reminds that it will take many small, simple acts and not the one big answer. Until next time, keep your head on straight and a smile on your face.

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

Senior Living February 5

I would like everyone to know that I do not come up with the catchy headlines for this senior living column. The Dalles Chronicle staff gets the credit for being the creative ones and apparently they had fun coming up with last week’s headline: Aging –it is not for sissies. Aging is not for the faint of heart and although I emphasize and highlight the tremendous rewards of aging in this column, there are no doubt challenges: physically, mentally and emotionally because we know them every day (my knees now tell me I should have been fishing instead of running when I was younger).

One of the struggles we face as we do age are the losses we encounter: death of a close friend or losing our physical or mental abilities, and the corresponding grief that accompanies the loss. On my cluttered desk I found “Some thoughts about grieving” written by Hospice of the Gorge. It shares many of the things you should and should not do when trying to deal with the feelings of grief. It is information many of us could use particularly living in a culture where men are not suppose to cry and we are to keep our feelings to ourselves (although that is changing). The thoughts are abbreviated for his column but pretty much verbatim. If you would like more information about loss and grieving, contact Hospice of the Gorge.

Thoughts about Grieving

Accept the grief – do not try to “be brave” and if you need, take time to cry. Talk about it – share your grief with family or a friend and if a friend tells you to “snap out of it” find another friend. Keep busy – do work that occupies the mind but avoid frantic activity. Take care of yourself – you may feel you don’t care but that will change. You are important and your life is valuable. Eat well – at this time in your life you need good nourishment. Exercise regularly – return to your old program or start a new one soon. Get rid of the imagined guilt – you did the best you could at the time. If you made mistakes accept that you, like everyone else, are not perfect. Join a group of other who are sorrowing – your old circle of friends may change. Even if it does not, you will need new friends who have been through your experience. Associate with old friends also – this may be difficult, because some may be embarrassed by your presence but they will get over it. Postpone major decisions – for example, wait at least a year, if you can, before deciding to sell your house or change jobs. Take advantage of your religious affiliations, if you have one – if you have been inactive this might be the time to become involved again. Get professional help if needed – do not allow crippling grief to continue. There comes a time to stop crying and to live again.

Remember, no matter how deep your sorrow, you are not alone. Others have been there and will help share your load if you will let them. Do not deny them the opportunity. Thanks to Hospice of the Gorge for providing this information that I could share with you.

The speaker for our “Next Chapter” Lecture Series on February 12 is Jerry Tanquist, local railroad enthusiast and historian. He will be discussing “The Great Southern Railroad, The Story of Our Local Wasco County Railroad – The Dalles to Dufur and on to Friend 1905 – 1936”. This is a wonderful presentation for anyone interested in railroads and our amazing local history. For those who were disappointed when we postponed the “Reverse Mortgages” presentation by Jim Bishop of Westcorp Mortgage because of snow, it has been rescheduled for Tuesday, February 19th

Also, next Tuesday (February 12^th) at 7:00 the Senior Center welcomes back our regular second Tuesday performers “The Notecrackers”. Their January performance was snowed out so now is your chance to get back into the swing of things while listening and dancing to the sweet sounds of the 20’s through the 60’s. Performing tonight at the Senior Center are Lloyd Walworth and his The Dalles Wahtonka High School vocalists.

Wheel Chairs needed

One of the small but truly appreciated services the Center provides is lending walkers, canes and wheelchairs to those who need one for a short period of time (less than six weeks) We have a large collection of canes and walkers but unfortunately we are have loaned out all of our wheelchairs. We are now looking for any useable wheelchairs that could be donated to the Center.

Life is always changing whether in our personal lives or in our community and the change can create uncertainty and fear especially if it happens to us and we have no ability to affect the change. (And not all change is positive as we consider what to do about global warming and increased drug use.) But change can also create opportunities and the Senior Center is looking for any new opportunities to meet the needs of all seniors. Last month when identifying future opportunities for the Senior Center, I left out one exciting possibility I feel could have the greatest impact on the senior community and put the Senior Center in the position to effectively support seniors for the next 25 years. That possibility will be presented at noon on Thursday at The Senior Center. Come and enjoy a fine meal (salmon and baked potato) provided by Meals-on-Wheels and learn more about the future of the Senior Center. This will just be the beginning of the conversation and we will need the ideas and support of everyone interested in the welfare of both our current and future seniors.

Until the next time, imagine when it snows it is just a snowman falling – unassembled.

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” Rabindranath Tagore