When are you entering that stage of life called “old age”? It depends on who you ask. According to a 2017 study by U.S. Trust, American millennials (1981 to 1996) defined old as starting at age 59; Gen Xers (1965 to 1980) said old age begins at 65, while baby boomers (1946 to 1964) said that you’re not old until you reach 73.

Many of us don’t want to think about when old age begins. Old age is always ten years down the road, right? But at some point, we realize we are no longer the young men or women of our imaginations. My brother-in-law shared that after turning 70, he could no longer deny he was getting old! – although it has taken me a few years longer.

Although we may not want to believe we are old, there are unwanted signs reminding us old age has at least moved into the neighborhood. While sorting through boxes of old papers and pictures – a great activity during the dreary winter days – I found a poster describing some of those signs.

Here are my favorites describing when you know you are getting old. Maybe you can relate to some of them.

1) Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.

2) You think gay means “happy, lively, and vivacious”. (Remember the Gay Blade clothing stores?)

3) You know all the answers, but no one asks you the questions.

4) Your mind makes agreements your body can’t keep.

5) You feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere.

6) Anything under a quarter isn’t worth bending over to pick up.

7) You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again.

8) A dripping faucet (or any running water!) causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

9) You finally get to the top of the ladder, but it’s leaning against the wrong wall.

And finally, my observations discovered over the past fifteen years.

1) When you fly, TSA no longer considers you a high-security risk.

2) An elderly woman in Portland was reported hurt and she was 10 years younger than you are.

3) The first thing you read in the newspaper is the obituaries.

4) When someone asks for help moving furniture, they look right past you – which isn’t always a bad thing!

5) You wear a warm coat when it’s 55 degrees outside.

6) You turn to the classic rock station and it’s playing 80’s music. And finally,

7) You think twerking is a new fitness program.

Now that I’ve reached what most consider old age, I’ve found it’s no longer something to fear but to embrace – although, I admit, it’s often like hugging a porcupine. But if we’re fortunate, we’ll all get there. As Groucho Marx said, “Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

Brain Tease:

These may be too easy, but I hope at least one will be challenging.

These words have had their vowels (AEIOU) removed; can you replace them to find the names of the animals? pnd. frrt, s ln, hdghg, chth, tdpl, ttr, plr br, lprd, grff

This comic strip created during the turbulent 60s and 70s that followed the lives of Mike, Mark, Zonker, B.D., and Joanie Caucus from when they attended Walden College to now as aging baby boomers was Doonesbury by Gary Trudeau. I received correct answers from Doug Nelson, Donna Mollet, Dave Lutgens, Pat Evenson-Brady, and Bruce Johnson, this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.

Back in the days of the three major television networks, and social media was passing notes between friends, television news was respected and not just another form of entertainment. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what television newscaster ended his news program with the words “And that’s the way it is.”? Email your answer to www.mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788 or send it with a copy of the first episode of The Twentieth Century.

Well, it’s been another week, trying to keep up with the … well, just trying to keep up. Until we meet again, life is serious, but every day take time to step back and have a good laugh!

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”  Abe Lemons

Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted.

Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) – Mondays and Wednesdays; Mt. Hood Townhall (541-308-5997) – Tuesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333).

For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services: Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068), and in Skamania County call Senior Services (509-427-3990).

Answer: panda, ferret, sea lion, hedgehog, cheetah, tadpole, otter, polar bear, leopard, giraffe

Ah, sleep – that “golden chain that ties health and our bodies together” as Thomas Dekker once said.

But what if that chain is worn and your body is not getting a refreshing good night’s sleep: you’re having difficulty falling asleep; staying asleep; waking up too early; or feeling tired during the day?

If you are having trouble sleeping, here are a few tips from the National Institute on Aging for developing healthy bedtime habits so you can get the seven to nine hours that most of us need to stay healthy and alert.

• Follow a regular sleep schedule.
• Avoid napping in the late afternoon or evening. That means no later than 3:00 PM and no longer than 30 minutes.
• Develop a bedtime routine. A relaxing book? Soothing music? A warm bath?
• Don’t watch television or use your computer, cell phone, or tablet in the bedroom.
• Keep your bedroom at a comfortable temperature. Hopefully, both you and your partner agree on that temperature!
• Avoid eating large meals close to bedtime.
• And the obvious: stay away from caffeine late in the day.

There are also a couple of tricks to try if you’re having difficulty falling asleep.

• Count slowly to 100 – and that doesn’t need to be sheep!
• Relax your body by imagining your toes are completely relaxed, then your feet, then your ankles, all the way up the rest of your body. You may drift off to sleep before getting to the top of your head.
• If 20 minutes after turning off the light, you’re still awake and not drowsy, get out of bed. And then when you feel sleepy, which is hopefully before the sun rises, go back to bed.

If you find it hard to get enough sleep, feel tired, and are unable to do your activities for more than two or three weeks, it may be time to see a doctor to determine if you have a sleep problem and what changes you can try.

In addition, you may be interested in participating in a study by UC Berkeley’s Golden Bear Sleep and Mood Research Clinic. They are currently recruiting adults aged 60+ who are experiencing sleep problems to take part in a no-cost and brief online sleep coaching study. The program includes three sessions of sleep coaching by video once a week for three weeks. The study doesn’t involve the use of any medication, and they won’t ask anyone who is currently taking sleep medications to stop taking them. They are currently enrolling new participants, so if you are interested, call (510) 575-9319 or email sleepandmemoryteamUCB@gmail.com

BRAIN TEASE: Two weeks ago, I shared a brain tease from a New York Times crossword puzzle: “What four-letter word has a bow that can never be tied?” Last week it was pointed out that it could be a rainbow – although it wouldn’t fit because it had more than four letters. But this week Gary VanOrman set me straight. He said a ship bow is tied by a hawser and anchored by a chain, so ship isn’t correct either.  But if you think WAY outside the box as Gary did, a four-letter word that has a bow that can never be tied is a BOWL. I can’t argue with that!

The name of the “Amazin” baseball team that won the 1969 World Series in their eighth year of existence and accomplished one of the greatest upsets in Series history was the Miracle New York Mets. I received correct answers from Anna Bolton, Jeanne Pesicka, Bruce Johnson, Doug Nelson, Jess Birge, Donna Mollet, Dave Lutgens, Rose Schulz, and Lee Kaseberg – this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.

This actor was well known for his television roles as professional gambler Bret Maverick and private investigator Jim Rockford and also starred in more than fifty films. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of this actor whose career spanned over six decades? E-mail your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or send it with a picture of him with Lois his wife for fifty-eight years!

Well, it’s been another week, staying warm under the covers. Until we meet again, as Mel Brooks once said, “Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.”

“Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”  Anthony Burgess

Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted. Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) – Mondays and Wednesdays; Mt. Hood Townhall (541-308-5997) – Tuesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333).

For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services: Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068), and in Skamania County call Senior Services (509-427-3990).