Now that the children have grown and left the stable, Christmas is much quieter. I no longer have to worry about buying the Christmas tree that will leave pine needles sprinkled like fairy dust along its path to the living room – the artificial tree works just fine. Or worry about the right presents to buy – cash seems to be the preference. The only worries this year are what to pack and how soon to leave for the airport. Because even though my wife has told me a winter vacation in Arizona would be cheating (you have to suffer through the winter), it is okay to spend four days in sunny San Diego visiting our children. I’m just thankful they aren’t going to school in Buffalo.
Since there isn’t much to announce, now that Christmas has almost arrived, and a good joke is a gift that can keep on giving, I want to share this one sent to me by Virgil Choate. While so many jokes about “old” folks are stereotypical about the conditions many of us experience: loss of hearing, frailty, and something else I can’t remember, this one points out why you don’t want to mess with us “old” folks with our years of life experiences. You may have heard it before, but it is worth enjoying again.
A lawyer and a senior are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun.
“I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then, you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.
This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game with him.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”
“The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references and he can’t find it on the Internet.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; and all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts now, not knowing the answer.
He wakes the senior up again and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four??”
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Were you able to identify the three missing consonants in last week’s Tuesday Night music announcement? They were the first three consonants of the alphabet. But this week, I am upping the ante and removing three random consonants. Can you identify them?
Duing the holidays any activities at the Cente have been cancelled but not Tuesday Night usic, because soe folks just gotta dance. On Tuesday Decebe 30th, the Dufu Boys will be laying fro 7:00 – 9:00 .The doos oen at 6:00 and donations ae always aeciated.
The powdered drink that become popular when it was used by John Glenn in the early manned space flights was TANG. (And the winner of a free Saturday breakfast in April is Virginia McClain.)
This week’s “Remember When” question is about a toy most all of us who grew up in the 50’s and 60’s played with. What was the name of the popular toy, invented in 1943, that can travel down a flight of stairs, end over end and land upright? E-mail your answer to firstname.lastname@example.org, call 541-296-4788 or drop it off with a 1999 postage stamp that honored this toy.
Well, it’s been another week, remembering to count my blessings before I go to sleep. Until we meet again, may all of you have a safe and joyous Christmas when we celebrate peace on earth and goodwill towards all people.
“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou