In less than two weeks, Rita and I will fly to California for our annual Christmas visit with our son and daughter – hearing about their adventures and hopes, how they are managing life’s changes and challenges, and exchanging gifts.
And every year I realize how different our lives are. They have good paying jobs – although working too many hours; one is living alone and the other is married and supporting a family of one dog, and they have attended concerts in L.A. and traveled abroad.
And my wife and I? We are working half-time – certainly not full-time, and have become comfortable in our everyday ways: same house, same friends, same meals, same interests – and maybe an occasional trip to the coast. But all familiar – maybe too familiar.
Then at some point, our lives will change, whether we want to or not, and we will shift from what is familiar to the unfamiliar, maybe moving into a retirement community – our children will insist it is for our own safety, or no longer able to enjoy our hobbies because of chronic pain. Or worse yet, losing lifelong friends because they have moved or passed away.
Moving from what’s familiar to the unfamiliar can be uncomfortable and confusing. You may wonder how to deal with things you don’t want to experience; how do you adjust and cope with what you feel you cannot endure? But cope you must, because there is no alternative. You either cope well or badly.
Joan Chittister in her book The Gift of Years eloquently discusses how adjustment is a part of aging and it is up to us to decide whether to live our later years with despair and anger or with joy and anticipation.
For instance, you can decide to fight the inevitable changes, blaming others and destroying good relationships when you may need them the most. Or you can passively accept your new situation, but emotionally refuse to adjust – living in the shadow of what once was but no longer can be and making life a struggle.
Or you can cope with the stress of change with courage, experiencing the losses, but also seeing the new gifts surrounding you while anticipating the joys of the daily small blessings.
Joan Chittister believes the challenge of these years is “that we must consciously decide how we will live, what kind of person we will become now, what kind of personality and spirituality we will bring into every group, how alive we intend to be”.
The blessing “is being able to live so openheartedly, and to adjust so well, that others can look to us and see what being old can bring in terms of life, of holiness, of goodness to make the world new again”.
When we were young, we constantly adjusted to new situations: marriage, children, and careers; then as we grew older we became comfortable with the familiar and anxious about the unfamiliar changes. But once again as we enter a new year, living life as it comes to us not as we insist it to be, may be our greatest opportunity.
Brain Tease: Two quotes with all the vowels removed. (Hint: Each quote starts with “I”.)
1.” knw tht thr r ppl wh d nt lv thr fllw mn, nd ht ppl lk tht!” Tom Lehrer
- “lv Mck Ms mr thn n wmn ‘v vr knwn.” Walt Disney
The comedy duo that starred in the 1934 version of Babes in Toyland and who were famous for their slapstick comedy were Stan Laurel and Ollie Hardy. I received correct answers from Bruce Johnson, Judy Kiser, Eva Summers, Jess Birge, Dave Lutgens, Rhonda Spies, Doug Nelson, Keith and Marlene Clymer, Rebecca Abrams, and Nancy Higgins this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket. And last week I missed Dave Lutgens and Pat Evenson-Brady,
The song “A Holly Jolly Christmas” was featured in the 1964 Christmas special, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and was re-recorded and released in 1964 as a single. For this week’s “Remember When” question, who was the American musician, singer, and actor with a career that spanned more than six decades who recorded this Christmas classic? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788, or send it with a picture of Sam the Snowman.
Well, it’s been another week, wondering if the sun will shine today or not. Until we meet again, enjoy the quiet evenings of winter.
“Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour.” –John Boswell
Answers: 1.) ¡ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞᴉl ǝldoǝd ǝʇɐɥ I puɐ ‘uɐɯ ʍollǝɟ ɹᴉǝɥʇ ǝʌol ʇou op oɥʍ ǝldoǝd ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ I
2.) ˙uʍuʞ ɹʌ ʌ, uɯʍ u uɥʇ ɹɯ sW ʞɔW ʌl
