The financial plight of seniors has improved dramatically since 1967 when 30 % of seniors were living in poverty. With the passage of Medicare and Older American’s Act in 1965, the percentage has decreased to 11% by 2007. Even though that is a significant improvement we can all appreciate, many seniors are still not economically secure. Today the elderly represents the largest group that could be described as near-poor (between 100% and 150% of the poverty level) and they contribute the largest percentage of their income to health care costs. With the support of Visiting Health Services and Hospice of the Gorge, the Center is helping to address both of these challenges by offering common used home medical equipment for a short period or indefinitely all for free although we gladly accept donations. The available equipment includes bath seats, transfer benches, bedside commodes, toilet seat risers as well as wheelchairs, walkers and canes. The Loan Closet is open during the Center’s normal working hours between 9 and 4, Monday through Friday.

For the next two Tuesdays at 11:00 you will get a chance to ask those in the know of two of our local governments that common question, “What in the heck were you thinking?” On Tuesday June 9th, Dan Ericksen the Wasco County Judge will be discussing the challenges and opportunities facing county government from taxes to home rule and everything in between. And on the 16th, the city will be on the griddle with Nolan Young City Manger answering your questions concerning city priorities, annexations and whether The Dalles residents can learn to drive in a circle. Share your thoughts while learning more about how your county and city governments work.

Tonight the Center is welcoming John and Debbie Martin and Friends playing Country Western music. Then we will return to the “tried and true” with Truman Boler on the 9th followed by the Sugar Daddies on the 16th. Check out why both Truman and the Sugar Daddies have such loyal followings. On the 23rd the Jazz Generations will offer a change of pace, playing the Big Band sounds. And on the special fifth Tuesday of the month the Center will be welcoming back the always popular Dufur Boys from Dufur. And to add the cherry on top of June, the Jammers will be playing on the fourth Sunday from 2:00 – 5:00. Make sure you get this all down so you won’t miss any of the fine entertainment. Music and dancing starts at 7:00 and don’t forget: AFBDGA (Admission’s Free But Donations Gladly Accepted).

Sometimes when your kids come back home there are situations when you ask, “Did I do something wrong? Was I a poor father?” Those questions came to me last week when my 25 year old son, stuck in Hood River, called to ask, “How do you jump the car battery?” I have to admit he has been very frugal (being Scottish we prefer frugal instead of cheap) and for the last six years has survived without a car using public transportation, Zipcars and friends. But still, how did I fail in instructing him in this rudimentary aspect of every young man’s life? After I gave him instructions over the phone, he successfully started the car. And later that night he shared his appreciation by telling me, “That’s why we keep the older generation around, because they know things.” You’re darn right. And more than you think.

Quick reminder: The Foster Grandparent Informational Meeting will be held at the Center, this Wednesday the 3rd at 11:00. Learn more about how you can make a difference. And for more information you can check my blog at www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.com.

That’s it. How time flies. Until we meet again, as my father always said, “Tomorrow is another day!”

In her book “Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer”, Connie Goldman discusses many secrets for living life to the fullest: attitude, risk taking, humor, and creativity and forgiveness. But she also included one secret, you might not normally consider but appropriate at this time of the year: gardening. There are the external mechanics, but the value for late bloomers are the internal rewards of gardening: the opportunity for self-expression, a chance to see the beauty of the natural world and experience the rhythms of birth, change, death and birth again. Gardening can provide a source of healing and renewal; a haven from the noise and clutter of the mechanical world and a place to contemplate our inner world; and for many a chance to get closer to God. Connie describes gardening as nourishment for the heart and soul.

Many have experienced those inner rewards. I have been tempted. I have looked inside that window and felt the attraction of gardening, but for many reasons I haven’t walked around and gone in the front door or even the back door. Some have a green thumb. I have a brown thumb. I can hear the plants screaming when I come near. I have forgotten to water and have over watered. I have allowed zucchini to grow three feet long and tomatoes, well, I never had much luck with tomatoes. But weeds I know well. They don’t need special efforts or even much rain to survive (during the dry summer if it weren’t for the green weeds my yard would look like a brown shag carpet). It may seem odd but maybe there is a reason for weeds: to remind us of nature’s abiltiy to keep coming back; of nature’s resiliency – even though they are such a pain in the backside. And maybe that is what life is about. .

We had a toe tapping, thigh slapping good time at the Ice Cream Social celebrating Older American’s Month. The Area Agency on Aging, with an assist from Meals-on-Wheels, organized the fun and the Hardshell Harmony provided the sounds. As part of the celebration, Martha Hoffman won the contest for having the largest family including 12 children, 38 grandchildren, 26 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren. That is quite a brood!

Most of the Center’s activities are peer taught by volunteers and the summer is a natural time to take a break for several of the activities including the lecture series, basic computer classes, Tai Chi and the Serenaders. But they will all be back next fall along with the “Yes, You can Draw! class and some special offerings. Anyone interested in finding your inner beat or doing an Authur Godfrey impression on a ukulele?

The Next Chapter Lecture series will continue through June and the speaker for Tuesday June 2nd at 11:00 am will be Antoine Tissot discussing Wills and Estates. Antoine is a local Attorney practicing with Brad Timmons with special training in the area of Elder Law.

Tonight at the Center the Jazz Generations are playing the big band sound for you dancing and listening pleasure. And next week will be a surprise, but the music is always good. Music starts at 7:00 and admission is free. Everybody is welcome.

This coming Thursday, Betty and Martha have decided it is time for the Nu-2-U Shop to have another once in a while $1 a bag sale. They are again over stocked and this is your chance to buy some nice clothes at practically give away prices. Nu-2-U is open Monday through Friday from 10:00 to 1:30. And don’t forget to ask for a kiss.

It is time to wrap this one up and head to the river for a family picnic and maybe spend some time in the backyard. It needs the work. Until we meet again, for the gardeners in the audience a few words from William Blake.

“To see a world in a grain of sand/And a heaven in a wildflower/Hold infinity in the palm of your hand/And eternity in an hour.”

May 19 2009.

There are many efforts underway to reduce our impact on the earth and to become more sustainable. It has affected our approach to food where old practices have become the new thing. Some examples in The Dalles include The Farmer’s Market at the City Park beginning its fifth season on May 30, and the Utopia Community Garden at East 13th and Short streets (on Friday, March 20 from 4 to 6 pm there will be a Garden Party) and The Dalles Imagination Garden, or DIG, along riverfront trail near Google. There has also been renewed interest in how to clean without using toxic chemicals that harm the earth. You can learn more about “Green Cleaning” from Kara Buchikos of Lifestyles Independent Care and how we can keep our homes clean while also protecting the environment. This informative and timely presentation starts at 11:00 on Tuesday May 26th.

At the Center on Wednesday June 3rd at 11:00 there will be an informational meeting about the Foster Grandparent Program. The program is firmly established in Pendleton with over 25 volunteers and they want to bring the benefits to the Columbia Gorge. The program offers you a chance to become a mentor/tutor, helping kids with their reading while setting them on the path toward a successful future. To be eligible you have to be at least 60 years of age, in good health and meet certain income guidelines. The benefits include a non-taxable hourly stipend of $2.65 an hour, mileage reimbursement and orientation and training, as well as helping children learn the most valuable life skill: reading. Whether you volunteer for Foster Grandparents or any of the other fine organizations in The Dalles, volunteering gives you the opportunity to make new friends, discover more about yourself, and make a difference.

Last week I described the Tuesday Night Music entertainment using the only foreign language I could remember: Pig Latin. This week continuing to provide a little variety (food for the brain), I will use the Japanese form of poetry, Haiku, to describe who will be playing on Tuesday the 26th.

Dance the night away/ Jazz Generations will play/ Fine music for you

My poetry may be bad, but the music is always good. And tonight don’t forget the Sugar Daddies. Dancing starts at 7:00 and admission is free but donations are appreciated.

And this week there is even more music and fun. In honor of Older Americans Month, the Area Agency on Aging is sponsoring a free Ice Cream Social this Wednesday, the 20th, from 6 – 8 pm at the Center. There will be plenty of ice cream with all the necessary toppings plus great music by the crowd pleasing “Hardshell Harmony”. And there will be special certificates for those with the most grandkids.

The Center will be closed next Monday for Memorial Day the traditional beginning of summer. It is early because in order to create the popular three day weekends, Memorial Day observed has been designated as the last Monday in May. (I am waiting for someone to suggest moving July 4th to the first Monday in July.) Because of the holiday, there will not be Bingo at the Center this coming Thursday or Saturday but the Jammers will be playing on Sunday – their regular fourth Sunday – from 2:00 – 5:00.

I learn a lot from all the fine folks at the Center, and here is one piece of wisdom I overheard that I want to share with you: “When talking to a fool, make sure he isn’t talking to one too”.

Until me meet again, as the sun starts to shine and it begins to heat up, don’t forget the sunscreen.

At the Center’s second Tough Talk Workshop, Lee Paton shared with us her thoughts on how to engage in those tough conversations between parent and adult child. Although there is not a specific recipe, she did offer several ingredients necessary for creating nourishing conversations. To start, develop a sense of empathy: try to see and feel the other person’s perspective whether it is a parent’s desire to maintain their independence or the child’s desire to protect the one who has protected them. Then listen, really listen and no “yes, buts”. Help the other to go deeper in understanding the situation you both are sharing. And finally as we age, be flexible. After years of developing our own habits and mental routines, we have to adjust as we no longer are as active, no longer can do as much, and no longer have the control that we once had. Our bodies, our outer shells, are changing and creating limitations. Yet there is the freedom that comes from discovering our core, who we are: a person of spirit that has value and can still love and create.

On the same theme of communication, Thursday at 2:00 at the Center, Fern Wilcox will be presenting “Talking Effectively with Aging Adults” as part of the monthly Healthy Aging Series. Every time Fern discusses a topic you will learn something new. Guaranteed.

Marc Berry and I completed our first successful Thursday morning bike ride with a leisurely ride up 10th street to Foley Lakes and back with only one side effect: a sore butt. (I am not use to those fancy skinny seats.) Join us at the Center every Thursday in May at 10:00. Our goals are to have fun and keep it simple.

On Monday May 18th at 1:00 Planetree Health Resource Center will again be offering a one hour presentation at the Center on how to find accurate health information on the Internet. The site, www.medlineplus.gov from the National Library of Medicine, is so comprehensive it helps to have PHRC show you all the different ways it can answer your heath related questions.

The Center’s Saturday Breakfast on the 16th from 8:00 – 10:00 AM is your chance to enjoy good food and great company for only $5 and $4 for Center members. The breakfast is sponsored by Habitat for Humanity and their Restore Store now on Sixth Street in the old Liquor store. They have increased their space and have more room for all the items you need to finish your spring projects. Come and enjoy a nice breakfast, a cup of coffee and learn more about Habitat for Humanity. And as Jack always said “Breakfast tastes better when someone else cooks it”.

Each week is the “same old, same old”, so I have decided to think outside the sack and announce the performers for the Center’s Tuesday Night Music program in a different language. But since I don’t know French or Spanish and my high school German I have tried to forget, I can only revert back to the foreign language of my childhood: Pig Latin. So here goes (with a Midwest accent). Extnay Uesdaytay, theway Ugarsay Addiesday areway ayingplay orfay ouryay ancingday easureplay. Andway onighttay Umantray Olerbay is ayingplay. Missionaday isway eefray utbay onationsday areway adlyglay ceptedacay.

And there is more.
Wednesday starting at 7:00 will be a Great Decisions discussion on “Cuba after Castro”,
Friday starting at 6:00 will be a Hoedown sponsored by ARC,
Monday there will be a Blood Pressure Checks at 10:00,
the AARP Driver Safety Class will be 9 – 1 on Monday and Tuesday and
The Dalles City Police will be discussing Fraud and Local Scams at the Next Chapter Lecture on Tuesday at 11:00.

If you have questions you can always call the Center at 296-4788 or check the Center’s Blog at www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.com.

And for those who never learned Pig Latin in school, Truman Boler is playing tonight and the Sugar Daddies next week, always starting at 7:00 PM.

Well the sun is shining, and the rain is falling but the weeds are always growing. Until we meet again, “stop, look and listen” isn’t just good advice for crossing streets.

Many folks have been asking how the Center is doing on the building expansion project. We are making progress raising local funds and we want to thank the many individuals and businesses who even during these tough times have demonstrated their belief in this project by making donations from $10 to $1000. Every dollar and every donor counts. We have also created several naming opportunities as a special way to recognize our larger donors and we want to thank the two local businesses that have stepped forward: Cascade Orthopedics and Sports Medicine and Browns Roofing.

While raising local dollars, we have also contacted many other funders including local grant sources, private foundations and our Oregon Senators. We aren’t leaving any boulder, stone or pebble untouched. We can again look to the United Seniors for a Senior Center for inspiration knowing that they started looking for a building in 1980 and it wasn’t until 1986 after three attempts did they finally receive the federal Community Development Block Grant that funded the construction of the Center.

But if it seems like we have both hands out, we do, because as we work to fulfill our dreams for the future we also have to support the present. We are working hard to provide a variety of activities and programs that give you opportunities to explore, connect and contribute. You can show your support by becoming an individual or business member for only $25 a year for individuals and $100 for businesses. Our goal this year is 500 members by the Center’s Annual Membership Meeting in July. So if you haven’t yet, jump on in; the water’s warm and it will be good for your body and soul.

Sometimes there is a deal that just slaps you across the face and says “Look at me!” and that is Community Concerts. Five excellent shows for only $55 and if you are 65+ another $5 off if you buy your ticket by May 30th. And if you are a new subscriber and purchase a season ticket before this season’s last concert on May 18th, you will be able to attend that concert for free. Now if I can count that means six concerts for $50. For more information you can call Patti Blagg at 298-4352 or check out their website at www.midcolumbiacommunityconcerts.org.

But if you are more into the local sports scene, on Saturday May 16th, there is free admission for any senior 60 plus for the TDWHS baseball team’s last regular season game against Crook County at Quinton Street Ball Park starting at noon.

On Monday, May 11th the Skip and Janet Show will take hikers to Tom McCall Point where the wildflowers will be dressed in their finest stuff. Meet and carpool from the Center at 1:00.

There is a new Coast Guard Auxiliary forming in The Dalles and you can learn more from Jim Gordon at the Center’s Next Chapter Lecture on Tuesday May 12 at 11:00.
For Tuesday Night music you can’t have too much of a good thing. The Cherry Park Band is playing tonight and on the 12th Truman Boler is back again for your listening and dancing pleasure. Everybody is welcome at a price we can all afford: free, but donations are appreciated.

The Tough Talk Workshop is this Saturday from 9:00 – 12:00 with light breakfast snacks at 8:30. Gain new insights about communicating at the time when the parent and child roles have turned upside down and inside out.

The Center is considering a trip to Portland to attend the Sentimental Journey II: a full evening of all time Pops favorites performed by the Oregon Symphony on Tuesday May 26th 2:00 PM. If interested call the Center at 296-4788. Cost will be $60 including transportation.

That is another week. Until we meet again, for your mother’s sake, wash your hands, keep your nose clean and say your prayers.

“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” Golden Girls – the television show

That was some cold and windy Cherry Festival Parade Day. There was one time when I was about to grab the blanket from Donna (who was much better prepared than I was) and I didn’t even care if it was pink. But we all survived and The Dalles gathered together to enjoy a little “Maraschino Magic”. A big thanks to all the folks who helped with the Center’s successful Cherry Festival Breakfast (which was indoors and warm): the gals from Washington Federal Savings, Boy Scout Troop #395 and all the Center volunteers including Edna, Bonnie, Sandy, Betty, Eva, Pete and Albenna.

Many times people confuse the Meals-on-Wheels program with the Senior Center and once again it happened during the Cherry Festival Parade. Meals-on-Wheels volunteers spent many hours building their float promoting all of Meals-on-Wheels’ good work, and yet throughout the parade they were identified as the Senior Center. I wish I could take credit, but I could never build anything as nice – ask my wife. But it does give me the opportunity to remind folks that although Meals-on-Wheels and the Senior Center have complementary missions and work well together, we are separate programs with separate boards and funding.

The more I learn about maintaining your sharpness and energy, there is one common denominator: you gotta keep moving. Whether by yourself through gardening, swimming, walking, or doing cartwheels down the middle of the street or in a group – if you need a little peer pressure to show up and a little guilt when you don’t, you need to move. It has been said if exercise were a drug, it would be a doctor’s most prescribed medication.

There are many places that provide opportunities to keep moving: The Dalles Fitness and Court Club, the Mid-Columbia Medical Center and here at the Senior Center. The Center offers several morning classes including a low to moderate impact aerobics class called Seniorcise geared toward improving balance, muscle strength and stamina; a yoga class where we use chairs – for those of us who would otherwise spend half the class getting up and down, and the Strong Women’s Class which exercises your muscles and your funny bones. There is also Tap and Clogging and Tai Chi both offered once a week. There is always room for YOU so call the Center at 296-4788 to find the times for each class.

The Jazz Generations are playing tonight and for the next two weeks Boyd “Doc” Jacobsen has lined up the “tried and true” for your dancing pleasure. The Cherry Park Band will be playing on the 5th and Truman Boler will be playing the following Tuesday on the 12th. There is always good music and the price is right: free, but donations are appreciated. Everybody is invited and the music starts at 7:00.

And another gentle reminder about the Workshop on May 9th from 9:00 – 12:00, the Saturday before Mother’s Day. It will feature Lee Paton a noted Gerontologist from Portland and Lucille Torgerson a noted local “observer of life”. The topic is “Tough Talk” or how adult children and their parents can effectively engage in those difficult discussions with empathy and understanding – and without killing each other. (It’s no longer about the length of your hair or your skirt.) Many of us may have good relationships with our children or parents and yet we are afraid to initiate the tough talk because we don’t know how or because we are comfortable with what is. But the world has turned upside – now the child wants to protect the parent who had always protected them and the parent just wants to be free. These conversations are not easy, but the workshop just might help you get started.

Another week has literally blown by. Until we meet again, Saturday reminded me of the following quote from William Arthur Ward, “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” And I might add, will still be blown into Sherman County.

Its Cherry Festival time. On Saturday the downtown will be filled with the sights and sounds of food venders, antique autos, children’s games, plant sales, music performers and the health fair; with folks gathered around, waving and shouting for the main event: the Cherry Festival Parade.

But before the parade, stop by the Center for a Cherry Festival Breakfast sponsored by Washington Federal Savings. This year’s menu of culinary delights includes French Toast with special toppings, scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit and the usual beverages. Breakfast starts at 7:30 to give the early birds a chance to eat before they prepare the finishing touches for the parade.

And in special recognition of the self effacing, story-telling Grand Marshal Bob Wagenblast, I have to mention that the Mid-Columbia Shrine Club is hosting their 25th Annual Oyster (or Chicken Cordan Bleu) Feed on Friday at St Peter Parish Center from 5:30 – 7:30pm. Stop in, say hi to Bob and thank him for all he has done for the community – but you may want to avoid his jokes.

It is frustrating when you know you know but can’t remember. Last year in this column I shared a three step process for remembering everything and anything, but as life happens, I forgot one of the steps. But help is on the way. At the Next Chapter Lecture on Tuesday at 11:00, Lindsay Couch will discuss aging and memory including memory tricks. (And if I’m lucky she will help me remember the missing step.)

There are many opportunities to enjoy good music in the Gorge and last Friday night was one. The Dalles Wahtonka High School Key Club hosted the Senior Citizens Prom for a modest but enthusiastic crowd of all ages. But if you want to dance to the TDWHS Jazz Band you actually have to know how to dance. Not like me where I step left, right, back, turn, stumble, fall. But watching the young kids dancing, I realized somebody has learned a step or two. They were looking good.

And speaking of showing your moves on the dance floor, tonight at the Center you can dance till you drop to the music of the Sugar Daddies, followed by the Jam and Pie Social with the Jammers on Sunday the 26th from 2 – 5 pm. Then on Tuesday the 28th the Jazz Generations return for another terrific night of dancing. Tuesday Night music starts at 7:00, admission is free and everyone is welcome.

Because it’s never too late to start caring for your feet, Judy Merrill RN and Sole Desire Foot and Nail Care, will be providing a foot and nail care clinic at the Center on the first Friday of each month beginning May 1st at 9 a.m. Judy has been a registered nurse for 34 years and has worked in The Dalles for 11 years. Through her work, she has witnessed the difficulty people have in caring for their feet and toe nails as they age and/or have health problems.

Sole Desire Foot and Nail Care specializes in care for seniors, diabetics and people with problem feet. “Comfort for your Sole”— $25.00 per session (cash or check) includes: assessment, warm foot soaks, nail trimming, callus buffing, foot massage,
treatment of minor foot problems and referrals for complex foot problems.
Call Judy for questions (980-5038) Please leave a message. Be sure to make an appointment at the front desk at the Center.

Skip Tschanz, hiker extraordinaire, has added another hike to Dalles Mountain on Monday the 27th. Car pool from the Center at 1:00. And in the spirit of “let’s try anything” Marc Berry and I are organizing a weekly bicycle ride starting from the Center at 10:00 on the first Thursday in May. It is a leisurely ride – no racing – and Marc has promised to teach me how use those fancy shifter thingies.

Well, that’s it for another week. Until we met again, a little advice for you guys out there.

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

This is one of those weeks when there is so much happening at the Center I don’t have the space to say much of anything else – which is timely because I don’t have much of anything to say anyway. So onward and upward with the latest news.

On Thursday the 16th, this month’s Healthy Aging presentation – Medicine and You: Managing Medications as You Age -taught by Fern Wilcox is starting at 2:00 which we hope will be more accessible for those interested in Healthy Aging series. Fern will discuss why older adults are more likely to be at risk because of their medications, how to know if you are at risk and what you can do to reduce your risk. The information was developed by Oregon State University Extension so you know it is reliable (unless you are a Duck and never trust anything that comes out of Corvallis).

On Monday the 20th at 1:00 pm, Planetree Health Resource Center will explain and demonstrate how to access accurate and reliable health information on the Internet using the website “Medline Plus”, a service of the National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health.

The Center is now hosting Friday Night Pinochle starting at 7:00 pm. There is a charge of $6 to play but $1 goes to the Center to pay for lights and heat and the other $5 goes into the kitty all of which is distributed to the evening’s winning pinochle players.

The monthly AARP Driver Safety Class will be held from 9:00 to 1:00 on both the 20th and 21st. Dennis Davis will remind you of all the driving rules you have forgotten. And once again you can feel like an anxious sixteen year old dying to get your “wheels”. But try to avoid the eccentric approach to driving like that of Glenn Gould, one of the most celebrated pianists of the twentieth century and famously bad driver who once said, “It’s true that I’ve driven through a number of red lights on occasion but on the other hand I’ve stopped at a lot of green ones but never gotten credit for it.”

In last week’s letters to the editor, Harriet Langfeldt expressed her appreciation for the hikes Skip and Janet Tschanz’s lead throughout the Gorge; describing Skip as “amazingly knowledgeable and wonderfully gracious”. When Skip comes back down to earth, you can join him and Janet this Monday the 20th at 1:00 to carpool from the Center to the Mosier Syncline and enjoy another hike in our amazing Columbia River Gorge, up-close and personal.

I started reading the “Gift of Years: Growing Old Gracefully” by Joan Chittister, the book Lucille Torgerson chose for the “Let’s Talk” discussion group. Joan shares her reflections on the blessings and burdens of forty different gifts we encounter when growing older including fear, possibility, mystery, memories, loneliness, and faith. The “Let’s Talk” series starts on Monday the 27th from 10:45 till noon. Call the Center to sign up for the class and we will help you order the book through Klindt’s.

North Wasco County School District will be placing a local option tax measure on the May 19th, 2009 ballot. The District will use the tax revenue from this measure to continue repairing, improving and renovating the community’s school facilities. You will have your chance to learn more at the Center’s Next Chapter Lecture on Tuesday 21st when Ernie Blatz will be discussing the proposed levy.

Tuesday NIght Music on the 21st will feature the Sugar Daddies. Mark Womble and his group have been well received all around the Gorge and play nice danceable music everyone can enjoy. Tonight Truman Boler will be playing and he also has quite a following. Music and dancing starts at 7:00 and the admission is free but donations are gladly accepted. Everybody is welcome.

Gotta keep it short. Until we meet again, the sun is out; the ants are not, and the taxes are done. Life is good.

May 9th is “Tough Talk Day’ when adult children and their parents are encouraged to discuss the tough issues they try to avoid, ignore or forget.

The early relationship between parent and child is strong and personal, full of memories of family trips, birthday parties, school assemblies, with feelings of confusion, pride, disappointment and love.
There were expectations and roles for parents: comforter, worrier and enforcer and for children: challenger, helper, explorer. (And when they could finally drive, delivery boy, “Andrew could you go to the store and get some eggs?”) You find advice about this stage of the child-parent relationship everywhere: magazines, books, and parenting classes.

But then the relationship changes. The baby grows up, leaves home, starts a career and finds others to love; the parent gradually becomes less active and more dependent. And now the adult child becomes the worrier, the comforter, the enforcer.
The relationship turns upside down and inside out and whether you are the child or parent you are in unknown territory with few guideposts. How do you learn to navigate this new terrain?

How do adult children wanting to protect their parents (and everyone else on the road) ask them – or tell them – to put away the car keys and sell the car? And thereby giving up a big piece of their independence and accelerating their path towards greater dependency.

How do older parents having accepted their own mortality start a conversation about their eventual death with their adult children who have unresolved issues about life and death and don’t even want to talk about the subject?

These are difficult conversations – tough talk – but they need to occur.

To provide some understanding and guidance, Lee Paton will once again be the speaker for our “Tough Talk Workshop” on May 9th from 9 – 12 at the Center. As a respected gerontologist who has spoken around the world, she will share her insightful perspective on aging and give you the courage to begin and even embrace these conversations.

As a preface to the Tough Talk Workshop, Lucille Torgerson will facilitate another round of the “Let’s Talk” series. To frame these discussions, Lucille will use Joan Chittister’s book “The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully” a collection of inspirational reflections (“‘Act your age’ can be useful advice when you’re seventeen; it’s a mistake when you’re seventy-seven.”) on such topics as fear, mystery, regret, fulfillment, and success. This is an opportunity to share your stories and thoughts while learning from each other. Aging is such an individual experience but you find so much in common when you hear other’s journeys. The “Let’s Talk” discussions will be on Monday April 27, May 4 and May 11 from 10:45 – 12:00 and is open to anyone and everyone.

I have several folks on the line for next Tuesday’s lecture, but I just haven’t reeled anyone in yet. When I determine the speaker, I will post it at the Center and on my blog at www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.com.

At last week’s Sadie Hawkins Dance, the dance floor was full of bodies bumping, sweat flying and eyes glistening with anticipation. And that was just the band members. Well maybe not, but there was good food, good music and a great time. Thanks again to Heart of Gold Caregivers and Mill Creek Point for sponsoring the dance. For April, Boyd Jacobson has lined up some of our most popular performers: Cherry Park Band playing tonight, Truman Boler next Tuesday and on the 21st the Sugar Daddies. The music and dancing always starts at 7:00, is free although donations are appreciated and is open to all ages.

Finally a weekend when it felt like spring. It was about time. Until we meet again, open up like a flower in bloom and express yourself. And don’t worry, we’ll tell you when to shut up.

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it’s letting go.” S. Robinson

The way we communicate has evolved: written notes and letters, telephone and telegraph and now with the advent of personal computers and the Internet, email. Electronic communication will continue to grow even as worldwide email traffic has surpassed 175 billion messages per day. And it is not just the younger generations using this technology. More older adults are learning to ride this wave: communicating with friends and family through e-mail and social network sites such as Facebook. (In the last year the number of folks 55 and over who have created a Facebook account has tripled.)

At the Aging in America conference, it was reinforced that senior centers need to adapt and stay current with these changes. And we are trying. There are three ways you can now receive information from the Center electronically. Email me at mcseniorcenter@gmail.com and I will send you the Center’s weekly newsletter; go online to the Center’s web site at www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.org; or check my blog at www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.com which includes all of my past columns, a Community Calendar for Active Adults plus a link to the Sharp Brains website.

But as the Center works to communicate in new ways, the landscape is already changing. Kids are using their cell phones (which are as much a social necessity as acne cream and flip-flops) to conveniently text messages to their friends. And I don’t understand Twitter! Why do I need to bother my friends with short updates of my daily thoughts or activities? I am walking down the hall. I am feeling hungry. I am opening the refrigerator. I don’t think so.

So if you find me twittering “tweets” from the Center ten years from now, just take me out to the back forty and shoot me. Wait, I take that back. Ten years ago I never would have imagined wanting to do half of the wild and crazy techno advances that are possible today.

Join award winning and bestselling author Jane Kirkpatrick Saturday morning from 10:00 – 12:00 at the Center for a slide presentation and signing of her latest book, “Aurora, an American Experience in Quilt, Community and Craft”. Coffee and juice and “Brunchies” will be served and copies of Aurora as well as other titles by Ms. Kirkpatrick will be available for sale. The Center is proud to host this event brought to you by Klindts Bookstore and Stationers your local portal to the world of literature.

It is spring; time of the year to get the body moving outdoors without the fear of snow or wildfires. On Monday April 6th, Skip Tschanz, outdoor “wunderkind” will be the guide for this month’s hike to view and savor this year’s wildflowers: nature’s kaleidoscope of new born colors. The destination will be either Catherine Creek or Tom McCall Point depending on the flowers. Both hikes are pretty easy unless you use a walker. Meet at the Senior Center at 1:00 pm to car pool to the chosen site.

Tonight Penny and Small Change with the Olde Tymers will be performing for the Center’s Sadie Hawkins Dance. You may not have time to squeeze into your Daisy Mae or Lil Abner outfit, but head down to the Center anyway. There will be light food and drinks as well as great company. And a big thanks to our sponsors Heart of Gold Caregivers and Mill Creek Point for making the dance possible.

Performing next week will be the Cherry Park Group (formally known as Harold and Friends) who draw some of our largest crowds. Every Tuesday night the music and dancing starts at 7:00 and the cost is free but donations are appreciated. And everybody is welcome: whether you are young, old, ageless or just plain tired. Come on down and recharge your batteries with good dancing and fine music.

That is it again. Another day, another dollar. Until we meet again, take care and stay in touch.

“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.” Abraham Lincoln